My mind tends to wander and ends up back on the thought of you more often than it should. I imagine the beat of your heart, the smell of your skin, the sound of your voice. I think about the way you laugh, the curve of your smile, all while thinking that I can’t wait to know you.
I don’t know who you are yet. I might know your name, and I might know your face, but I don’t know you. I mean, the real you. The you who will tell me your hopes and dreams. The you who will trust me enough to share with me your biggest fears and toughest failures. The you that isn’t afraid to show emotion, the you that doesn’t feel the need to wear a mask with me. The you you’ve been holding back from everyone else, the you you’ve been waiting to share with just me. More than that, I can’t wait for you to meet me.
But truth be told, I’m not even finished meeting myself yet. I’ve just entered into a new phase in my life. I’m learning more than I ever have about the world, my line of work, and about me. I’m being tested, facing obstacles I never expected to face. All in an effort to become the woman I’ve always wanted to be, the woman I’m destined to be. I know that I’ll never fully become that woman until we cross paths. There are some lessons I will only be able to learn when I meet you. The same applies to you. It’s part of what makes us soul mates. We guide the other. We complement each other.
I don’t need you to rush to me. I’ve learned that everyone comes to you at the exact right moment. I’m not growing impatient waiting for you, because I know that you will finally arrive when I most need you. Please, take your time. There will be plenty of time to catch up. Slow down, you’ll get here soon. I’ll continue to study hard and become my own person while I wait, as I hope you will too.
I want you to know that as excited as I am, I’m equally petrified. When I think about us together, I dream of a version of me who radiates passion and love. The only problem is that as of today, I’ve never loved. Love takes total trust. While I’ve had feelings for others, I’ve never trusted someone completely to the point where I knew they would never hurt me. My inability to fully trust those in my past has still managed to leave me a few burns. When I meet you though, I will be able to trust you, and it will scare me more than any horror film ever could. But when the time comes, I know it’ll be right.
I’m in love with you, all of you. Every inch, every freckle and flaw. I love it all, and I haven’t even met you yet. I know you’re looking for me. I hope you know that I’m right here, waiting for you. Through all the bullshit I face on my own, I will always wait for you.
Love you now and forever,
The one you’re looking for.