Caring is a weakness
There is a perception out there that someone who cares too much is desperate, needy, overly eager, or too interested. Wait, what? How can someone be overly interested? Overly eager? It’s LOVE for crying out loud, who wouldn’t be eager and interested in something they love or finding love? Caring should not be looked down upon as a sign of weakness or a flaw. The world needs more people who care. For that matter – if you don’t care, that is the first sign that you need to re-evaluate what you’re doing, how you’re spending your time, and why you are hanging out with this person.
We should save our love for those who are worthy or deserving
First of all, how does one deserve love? We tend to be reactive when it comes to how we treat others. We cautiously analyze how someone treats us before we decide how we are going to treat them. We also usually don’t put in more effort than the effort we perceive the other person to be putting in. This happens not only with romantic relationships but also in friendships. Instead we really should be focusing on who we want to be, what type of friend we want to be, and what type of spouse we want to be. Our effort should reflect our intensions, our desires, and our appreciation of that person, not what they have done for us. We need to be active in showing our love rather than reactive. Our love for someone else should be entirely independent of their love for us. Yes, we hope the person will love us back but our love for them does not depend in any way shape or form on their love for us. This is sometimes referred to as unconditional love. I believe that all love is unconditional. Be unconditional when it comes to the love you give. And lastly, why are you saving your love? It’s not as if you have a fixed amount to give, we each have unlimited amounts of love within us.
Many people think that the love of another person can make them happy. In my opinion this is the biggest misconception we have about love. Yes, we hope that someone will love us back, and yes one might argue that a relationship has to have reciprocation but your joy and happiness will come from the love you give not the love you receive. For example, I love to read and my love for reading brings me joy and happiness. Make no mistake, when I read, my books do not love me back. The joy and happiness I feel is not from the book’s love for me. It is 100% entirely from my love for the book. This is a crude example of course but it is the only way I know how to make this point clear. I love walking on the ocean and my love for the ocean brings me joy, again, to be clear, the ocean does not love me back. I hope this makes sense. I feel like so many people underestimate the joy and happiness that comes from giving your love to someone else and how amazing it feels.
True love looks like (fill in the blank)
Love cannot be confined to a description or list of criteria. No love two loves are the same; don’t get caught up in the trap of comparing new love with old love or love from one person with love from another. You have to realize that no two loves are the same and what you had with one person will never be duplicated. But this is a beautiful thing so be happy and appreciate the nuances in the love you have with various people. Be open to the fact that love comes in many forms and you can show love in many ways.
The more you throw around the word ‘love’, the less meaning it will hold
Let me be clear – the frequency in which you say the word ‘love’ does not change its meaning. As long as you remain genuine and choose your words carefully, your words will always hold the same meaning. For example, I say ‘hello’ probably 100 times each day between strangers on the street, coworkers, neighbors, friends, and phone calls I take at work. When I say hello for the first time on any given day it holds the same meaning as when I say it for the 100th time. No one would argue that because I have said hello to 99 other people, my hello didn’t mean as much to the 100th person. No, only your own credibility has the power to change the meaning and value of your words.
Wearing your heart on your sleeve is dangerous
Love is beautiful and I couldn’t think of a better place to wear your heart than on your sleeve. No other accessory could be more in style, no other accessory could enhance your look than the love you have for life and others. I say, be in love as much as you can. Love your neighbors, love your coworkers, love your friends, love your family, and love your spouse – love your life. Like I mentioned, no two loves are the same so this doesn’t mean that you treat everyone exactly the same. It doesn’t mean that everyone means the same to you. Relationships vary, variety and differentiation will remain. When you care, and fall in love with your life and those around you, you will add a vibrancy that can only come from being absolutely madly in love with other people and your life. Like I said earlier, if you don’t care – that’s a sign that you need to make a change. Life is too short to be spent doing things that don’t matter to you, with people you don’t care about.