What It Actually Feels Like When Happiness Finds You


After merely two months of daily online chatting, he finally booked a plane ticket. 9,118 kilometers away, it’s only a matter of minutes before I could see his face, smell his scent, feel his hugs and devour to those sweet little kisses I’ve been dreaming since September.. and after my 29 years of being single, the #MeTime and lonely search has come to an end.

I step out of the cab, nervously picking up my luggage from my seat. I quickly glance at the towering hotel and the starry night of November. My phone beeps and a text pops up saying, “I’m at 7th floor, room 711.”

With trembling hands, I push the button on the elevator. The door opens smoothly to my destination. Carpeted walkways seemsso inviting, leading me to the door bell beside his room number. Reality strikes me. Finally, finally, he’s just a heartbeat away behind this wooden black door.

My chest is pounding so hard that it scares me I might throw my heart up through my mouth.

I breathe heavily, holding the air inside my lungs and turning my body away to my left. I manage to push the doorbell with eyes shut and with a little prayer of strength. The door opens swiftly, like he was just standing behind it and expecting a ring any moment. The cold air from his room rushes to my pale face. I open my eyes, glancing away, and he says, “Avi, finally, you’re here.”

I flip my hair to face the voice coming from the doorway, and I expell all the trembling air trapped within my lungs. With a soft voice and a sweet, anxious smile, I manage to say “how are you?”

“I’m feeling so good now, how are you?” He says with a wide smile on his face. Seems my throat has been choked by a whole watermelon and empty words came out of my mouth, thus, my mind was shouting “I still can’t believe you’re here, with me, you’re real, I’m just so happy, and to answer your question, I feel perfectly great,” but sadly I am mute.

My brown eyes keep staring at his blue-green eyes. My shakey left hand has manages to rub his right arm in response to what I was dying to say but cannot utter. He guides me inside his room and closes the door behind us. Silence. He kisses my cheeks, twice, while trying to look for my lips, but my lips are trembling and my actions cannot deny the fact that he is my first for my age.

He holds my bag, but the smile never leaves his lips. He anchors his arms on my lower back to keep me close to him. He puts my bag away on the table to free his other hand to touch my face. He might have felt my shivering body, and decides to stare in my eyes.

His smile never fades.

His palms cup my cheeks, warmth radiates onto my face. He opens his soft pinkish lips, directs them towards mine. My eyes close instantly and I feel the music of his heart, slowly enveloping my system which makes my knees so weak.

It is a long, warm and steady kiss, the kind of kiss that is silent and deep, easing my stiff muscles to calm, to relax, to savor the tenderness.

This kiss says, “Calm now my love, I am here, with you, because I am yours”.

The night was filled with birds chirping and singing, with the howling of the soft breeze, and the inaudible music that we both danced to. Endless words of adoration, of excitement and little kisses were unstoppable. Both of us couldn’t believe we were finally together, in each other’s arms, inside one room, feeling the same passion we used to share everyday during our moments in chat.

Sharing the steamy night was like a lifetime of heaven.

Endearing conversations were spoken, and joyful smiles filled our faces. Voices that seem to be soft whispers of how magical it is that two souls from different worlds were bound by overflowing emotion of happiness in a tranquility that only love can bring.

The night was long, but the next morning was longer, as the sun slowly shined from the horizon and we cuddled one another under the sheets. Echoing sounds of little kisses filled the room while my eyes shut in a perpetual feeling of security, blissful happiness and gratifying emotion of being loved, saying to myself, “Haappiness has found me”.

I found happiness in 2014 and it has never left my heart.

A wandering soul who finds tranquility in reading romance novels, articles for self empowerment and feel-good thoughts. Currently working as a registered nurse for nearly a decade, taking time off to revitalize my senses by flipping pages.

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