Why My Ex Sucks, A Lot

Shutterstock / Peter Bernik
Shutterstock / Peter Bernik

You came into my life without me asking, and now I despise you for that. We were both young when we first met and I thought we had a good thing going, I thought we felt the same, but little did I know that you were just stringing me along. I thought that you were someone who would carry my heart with their best intentions, but you just held it in order to have the upper hand. Which is why you suck.

The hardest thing was that you told me your life dreams, and I told you mine. You told me your favorite childhood memories and I told you mine. I asked you what your favorite color was, which was green, and you asked why I love my favorite books. You told me I could do anything and that I was worth everything, after that you gave me a huge hug and told me to conquer the world, which is why you suck.

You were my biggest fan, and I was yours. Every time you told me a story I absorbed every word like it was the only thing keeping me alive. We shared stories about the universe, who we want to be, what we don’t like about our lives and what our dream cities were, yours being Boston and mine being New York. Even though I would never admit it, that tore me up deep down inside because I hated that our two favorite cities were not one in the same. You wanted to go Ivy League and I wanted to go East Coast. You told me that we would always be close and that’s why you suck.

We ended up traveling to the same college and tried to remain friends. The hard part was that you knew so many aspects of my life that I had spilled to you over the past couple years, but I knew nothing of you. We drifted apart, meeting up here and there for lunch or at parties. I had to pretend that you didn’t mean anything to me more than just someone I went to high school with, but we both knew that you hid all of my deepest conversations under layers of your own ego. Which is why you suck.

You were someone who I trusted and I was able to let myself be “me” around, someone who would let me rant and rave until the day turned to night.For some reason it took me a while to realize that I knew the same about you as the girl down the street did. You locked your emotions and past self away from me, but yet you knew everything about me. I always wanted to share my daily stories with you, my inner demons, and my happiest moments.

All you were worried about was being the man in the relationship and being able to control my emotions, which you are damn good at. After a while I thought I got over this, I tried to move on and live like you, just pretending like there was nothing there.Then we would meet up and you would ask me how my parents were and I would cry because you knew they weren’t okay, and this is why you suck.

I didn’t believe in love, and you knew this, but you let me love you with all that I could. And this is why you suck. I held on to all of our conversations as if that’s all I had to live for, and this is why you suck. You showed me true happiness and then pretended like I didn’t exist, and this is why you suck.

You were my first love, buy you will never know this, and this is why you suck. I couldn’t see your ways until I was too wrapped up with you, and this is why you suck. You let me believe that I could have someone there for me no matter what, but just like the other times you listened to me waiting for it to be over. Now its over and Im back where I started. And that’s why you suck. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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