Divorce has a bad connotation of breaking families apart and making the Holidays hell on earth, but what about the times when divorce is actually the best thing that can happen to a family. You see my parents got divorced when I was 8 years old, my brother 12 and my sister was 4. At that age divorce is a hard concept to grasp because I barely even knew what marriage was when I was 8.
My parents never fought in front of us and made the divorce easy, no custody battle or long court dates of them putting us in the middle of it all, and god bless them for that. We were sat down and told that my parents were separating, and then we proceeded to go to lunch afterwards with my mother.
A lot of kids spend years wishing their parents would get back together or that they would even be able to get along. I am lucky, my parents are best friends and they are always willing to go to sporting events together to support their children. There is many reasons why divorce is a great thing for a family and here are 6 reasons why.
1. Two supportive parents
The world can be a hard place when your parents decide to split up, sometimes it seems as if everyone is suddenly distant all at once. Except for two people, your mom and dad. They helped me grow as a person and a woman and were always willing to push their differences aside in order to be there for us. Sometimes 2 is better than 1.
2. You learn to stand on your own two feet
When there are three kids involved in a family split, life can get a little hectic and it seems as if you’re left on your own every once in a while, but it builds character. There will be times that you will have to make your own dinner or entertain yourself because your siblings are at the other parent’s house. Divorce teaches you independence and that is what will set you apart from most of the other kids your age, but who says that is a bad thing?
3. It brings you closer to your siblings
Divorce is hard on anyone, whether you are 8 or 25, and there is no rule book on how to handle it. This is when your siblings come in handy. I have an older brother and a little sister, so we all handled it differently but we also learned how to rely on each other and how to make the transition easier on our whole family. When you come from a family of divorce your siblings will be your pack, you guys will do anything to keep each other sane, whether it be annoying one another endlessly or being emotional support. Each kid takes it differently so its important to stand beside them no matter what, which is what you do. I learned to let my older brother heal and be alone most of the time while on the other hand I watched over my little sister like a hawk, each relationship is different.
4. You appreciate each parent not only as a single parent, but as an individual
After a family split you will get some time to really get to know each parent because of the separate households. I learned that parents are humans outside of taking care of you and that I admired them both very differently. My father is a hard ass with a heart of gold and will make us learn our own lessons, whether it’s the hard way or the easy way. He worked hard for everything he has, so he made sure we had a good work ethic and that we appreciated all that we acquire. My mother on the other hand holds the world on her shoulders and never lets anyone know of her troubles. She is a dedicate woman who is constantly willing to try new things and adventures. She is a loving mother who supports us endlessly just as any child would want. If my parents hadn’t separated I would never have gotten the chance to know them on these levels.
5. Change is an easy thing for you
This one is pretty simple, you are used to switching houses and meeting the parents significant others or whoever they are dating. You meet step siblings and different groups of people. You deal with our parents shedding their married skin for their newly single skin, and you wait patiently while they go through their mid-life crisis’s. Changing schools and meeting new people becomes second nature for you, this greatly prepares us “Divorce Kids” for our future, so that’s another thing to be thankful for because of divorce.
6. Sometimes a split family is the happiest family
I know too many friends whose parents are still together, but horribly unhappy. I had a great childhood and a happy upbringing because my parents made the right choice to separate. My mother came over for wine or dinner sometimes at my dad’s and they sat together at our sporting events. Their divorce brought our family closer together because they were happier apart than they were together. It was nice to be able to sit in the same room as both of your parents without them fighting.
Overall divorce can make or break your family and every family has a different experience at the end of the day. My parents never made it a negative thing for us three kids and I thank them everyday for that. I have gotten to appreciate them both on separate levels and learned many life lessons because of my separate family. They love me just the same as if they were a married couple. Divorce isn’t always a bad thing, so don’t let the grey clouds of a new divorce ruin your life, I promise there will be sunny outcomes from it, just wait.