Have you ever felt like your life is going nowhere? Have you ever felt like the life you have been living hasn’t been the life you wanted for yourself? Have you ever felt like life just keeps on f*cking you up every single day, as if the f*ck ups are never ending and continuously ruining you emotionally more and more each time?
If you have, then you’ll probably understand how difficult it is to live each day, trying to make things work for yourself yet end up failing to do so. You probably know as well how mind blowing and frustrating it is when you can’t do anything sometimes than to sit there, letting the sadness consume you and eventually snapping out of it just so you could continue on with your life as if nothing is wrong at all.
Surely, every person has experienced those feelings, right? However, what if the sadness you’ve been coping with isn’t a phase? What if these difficulties have been going on for years now? What if these struggles you’ve been facing are still currently residing in your life? What if the problems you have just keep on increasing and intensifying as your life continues on?
This time, I’m sure that not everyone knows how THAT kind of life feels like and how it’s like to live in one.
During times like these, we’d usually run to someone for help and comfort – may it be our parents, sibling/s, relatives, significant other, friends or anyone you consider close to your heart. We all need these people to guide us through the “minefields of life”. We seek for their assistance in some way whether it be their words of wisdom on how to get through, healing words to sympathize with you or their presence that won’t make you feel as if you are alone.
It relieves us to know that they are always there to listen about our struggles through our individual/personalized “minefields”. However, pouring our hearts out to them won’t always mean we’ll get any assurance from these people. Sometimes, these people we run to for help won’t give us much of what we need (though that little help CAN actually do so much already, FYI). And sometimes, they won’t actually understand, especially when your life mostly consists of “minefields” rather than “meadows of green”. Though these people may have experienced something similar to your struggles, it doesn’t necessarily mean that they know how it REALLY feels like to be walking in your shoes in your own “minefield”. Lucky for them, “meadows” are more attainable and consistent than their “minefields”.
The same applies to me. Since my life has been a constant “minefield”, the people I go to find it hard to provide me with the help I desperately need. They don’t know what else to say and acts to do because they could only do so much. They aren’t equipped with specialized or enhanced weapons because they see my “minefield” as farther beyond and extremely challenging than theirs. And since they see that the help they give only provides little progression for me, they are left speechless and clueless in the end.
I have to admit, it pains me a lot to have these people I depend on do such unpleasantries, even when they know that I’m already badly wounded, and ran out of weapons and strength to go on to fight through my “minefield”. It breaks my heart to pieces to know that people can abandon you but that didn’t stop me from helping them when they needed it.
After experiencing the unexpected, at first, I thought I’d be completely hopeless and alone. I thought I’d go through my journey without any help or not have anyone anymore to be there to keep me going. But one day, I came across a person who was searching for help, too. It surprised me to see that this person who was crying for help was walking on a “minefield” near mine. I went to see how this person was doing and asked why I haven’t heard him cry before. To my shock, he stopped asking for help when the people he asked for stopped doing so due to the “extremely dangerous minefield” he was in.
Little did I know that he, too, would be the person I can always count on for all time.
Until today, I am still in my “minefield”. Every day is different – there are times when mines suddenly explode in my path and there are times when the minefield seems clear for a while. I may not have reached that “meadow”, where I can frolic around freely, but it’s calming and encouraging to walk in the “minefield” when you have someone who truly sticks with you no matter what.
People may not have similar “minefields” and experience or feel the same way as you do, but always know that there is someone who will eventually come along to stay with you along the way. And even when you don’t entirely understand how people are feeling, never leave them alone. Be there for people, always.