I like you. I like you so much more than you think. I know you know I like you, but I don’t think you’ll ever know to what extent. I wish more than anything that you could hear the thoughts in my head that I’m too afraid to say out loud.
I was blown away the first time I saw you, as cliché as that may sound – the way a house might feel, in the middle of a hurricane – by you, the moment I saw you, and I’ve wanted to know you better ever since. And then I got to know you, and I wasn’t disappointed.
Instead, I fell. I fell hard. I fell harder than I ever have before and I’m not quite sure how. There’s no possible way to describe why I fell for you as hard as I did, but I don’t need to know. I don’t want to know. I just know that I want to keep falling.
But you are so complicated. I hate myself for thinking about you all the time, even when you say nothing to me, knowing that you aren’t thinking about me. It kills me knowing I can’t be your picture perfect guy, and I know there are plenty of guys in the world that would be 10x better for you than I ever would. I can’t keep your attention, I can’t tell you exactly how I feel about you, and I’m not even sure I can give you the happiness you deserve. I feel selfish for wanting you so bad, but I don’t even care. I don’t know how to make you mine, but I’m almost positive I’ve never wanted something more.
You remind me so much of the sky, so beautiful, yet so out of reach. You’re a gorgeous, down to earth girl that deserves everything the world has to offer. Even with so much going on, you light up this black and white world with color. I can tell you have a big heart, which is a big step up seeing how I don’t even think my ex had one. I literally love everything about you. I connect with you on such a deeper level than anyone else, but I can’t seem to reel you in.
I am so tired of getting my hopes up, and thinking about people that care too little, and of anticipating the worst and then watching it pan out. I’m tired, and I’m scared, and I think that’s why I can’t tell you how I feel.
But I hope that one day I do, and when I do, maybe you’ll feel the same. Until then, I’ll keep convincing my shadow that I’m somebody worth following.
Tired, Confused, but Hopeful.