A Reverent Apology To My Body

By

I have spent three days

Apologizing with reverent love

Compassion moisturizing my skin

Understanding massaging my organs

Hope and promises

Sustaining networks of fascia

Honoring

Honoring

All for love

Clarity gently invites

Harmony

And joy

As my heart beats

Without force or plea

As it beat for years despite me

I would pray on my knees

Soaked in my tears

Please give up on me

Let me go

I need my last breath

Tired and worn

But valiant

Determined

My heartbeat kept me

Company

In my loneliest hours

Yet how have I ever felt alone

When all my cells rejoice

At my gentle touch

The cooing of my voice

For three days I lay

Yearning for breath

Memories of him over me

The door of death

My heartbeat carried on

Despite the gasps

My heartbeat carries on

With such little oxygen

Bold as lightning

I was jolted awake

For three days I cling

With sorrow and grace

I am sorry

The village within that raised me

Whispering sweet love

Renewed sovereignty

I will cherish you, skin, sinew, and bone

I will serve you, liver, kidney, and gallbladder

I will praise you, intestines, stomach, and ovaries

I adore you, heart, brain, and lungs

You are the beat to which I dance through life

You are the natural rise and fall of magic

You are the protector with graceful power

All my life

I was never alone

In my body I am home

Through the darkest of days

My organs kept doing the service of love

Automatically

Faithfully

For all the times I have scorned you in the mirror

I am sorry

For all the times I begged for death

I am sorry

For all the times I blamed you

And thought you did your job wrong

I am sorry

For the times I displaced you

Beat you with words and punished you without food

I am sorry

Face to earth

My heart

My hearth

I have always had the safest place to be

Wrapped in your cocoon and reverie

I pledge allegiance to your cause

To your dream

Your goal

Your hope

Your success

I pledge allegiance to my life

Whatever you need I will commune with you

And learn your ways

Whatever you desire

I will laugh with you

And I will dine with you in pleasure

I am baptized in my holy breath

Serenaded by the drum of my heart

It took so long to see you for what you are

My body

My refuge

My adventure

My art

My dearest companion

True kindred spirit

All these years you’ve survived and danced your way through

Every horror and triumph

You only worked harder, kinder, deeper

Even through my betrayals

Thank you

I revere you

I am in awe of you

It is an honor to live within this skin

Sweet sacred friend.

I hold you tenderly and notice all that you are