Why I’m Happy That My Ex Cheated

couple sitting on bench
Bruno Melo / Unsplash

Cheating, most of us have been there. You don’t ever see it coming because it’s the small things that build up over time that invite the toxicity into your life. While there’s never an excuse for cheating, I’m glad that it happened. I broke things off with a boyfriend after finding out that he had conceived a child during our year long relationship. Shock, anger, rage, and sadness infiltrated my mind along with the usual dosages of self-doubt. Was I not pretty enough? Was I not smart enough? Where did I go wrong? What did she have that I didn’t have? What was I lacking that would make him want to leave me an…

ENOUGH.

Enough is enough.

I sulked in that pity party for far too long when I decided to reach up and slap myself in the face. You are not a reflection of someone else’s decision to be unfaithful. Your self-worth is not bound to their confusion and lack of appreciation for you. If anything, thank God that you dodged this bullet before a ring was involved. It honestly could’ve been worse and thankfully, it was the opposite – it was the best.

It gave me a new confidence, one that I had never known myself. In the wake of such upsetting news, a break up led me to write my first two published pieces of work. What started as post-breakup emails turned into a work of art after some rephrasing and dusting off. I took my pain and turned it into a form of therapy – writing being my release.

Some days I found it hard to write about anything at all, allowing that buffer of confusion to become my canvas and articulate what I couldn’t actually articulate. You’d be surprised at what beauty you can create with the hurt you carry. Life is 10 percent of what happens to you and 90 percent of how you react to it.

Breakups are hard. Dealing with crappy people is even harder. But none of it defines you. You are your own person, beautifully created, perfectly as God intended. Life is going to happen and heartbreak is inevitable. Use these seasons of hardship as the fuel you need to set ablaze the fire that will ignite you into a better future.

What was meant for evil, God will use for good. TC mark

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