You hear it all the time “before you can truly love another person you have to be willing to love yourself.” Sometimes you shake your disagreeing but think about it for a moment. How can you expect anyone else to give you the love and respect you deserve if you can’t even show it to yourself? What kind of example are you setting if you let others show you the wrong kind of love?
So this one is for you, a guide or a mantra to help you through the journey, because learning to love yourself takes a lot of work but it is so worth it.
It won’t happen all at once or overnight. Just like any valuable relationship if you want it to last you have to work at it. You have to accept the things you can’t change, embrace the flaws you wish you didn’t have and let go of the unfair expectations you’ve set upon yourself.
It’s time to start piecing yourself back together. Start with the edges; accept the things you can’t change. You can take back the love you tried to give to the wrong people, you are the type of person who loves unconditionally and will be the first to reach out when someone else is down. You have a deep understanding and are the last to judge another.
Use that as the glue that holds you together. You have to be willing to have a deep heart to heart with yourself. Take a slow deep breath and let go. Let go of the ones who left, that stopped showing up and that took a crack at your foundation. You have to stop asking yourself why and come to an acceptance that in the end we don’t always have a say in how long someone stays, or how long someone loves you.
You know what you do have control over? How much you love yourself.
Next we have the pieces that seem to be a little harder than the edges but not as difficult as the middle pieces, you have to start loving all of you. Yes that means you have to love the things you see as flaws, whether that’s your body, or your voice or anything else that you think is wrong with you. You have to take a long look in the mirror and see how beautiful you really are, because you are unique. You have to tell yourself that you are a rock star, that your flaws make you an individual.
Wake up and tell yourself that you’re amazing. Compliment yourself daily, because like I said it wasn’t going to be easy. You will have to work at this, and when you start to bring yourself down pause and remind yourself that you’re only human. You wouldn’t allow someone else to talk to you like that so you can’t let yourself get away with the same abuse.
Here comes the hard part, the pieces that just don’t seem to be easy to figure out. This is the hard one so brace yourselves.
You have to forgive yourself for not always getting it right. You have to accept that the past for whatever happened and know that it is not your future. You have to forgive yourself for the heartbreak, the mistakes you made, the things you didn’t do and all of the what-ifs.
Accept that everyone has their own timeline, goals, motivations, aspirations and reasons for what they do. You don’t have to mold yourself to fit everyone else.
Vow to work at it daily, journal if you have to but don’t give up. Find a favorite quote and reread it daily, realize that you will sometimes fall back into bad habits but that loving yourself can be one of the most rewarding things you’ll ever do.
So take a step back, you’ll see that puzzle is starting to come together as a completed masterpiece.
You are that masterpiece and with time you’ll see and feel it as well. Sounds pretty amazing doesn’t it? So not matter what don’t give up on yourself.
You are worth it.