Self-Love Isn’t Always Pretty, And That’s Okay

I have always admired people who are so confident with their skin, the way they look, and the way they present themselves that you cannot see any hint of insecurity on them. I cannot count the number of times I have wondered how long it took for them to have the kind of power and love within themselves that exudes every time they speak or do something; every single time I ask myself how to have the same thing, it makes me wallow in self-pity and hate the way I view myself even more.

People say that self-love takes time to fully achieve. That once you’ve reached that point, no one can make you feel less of a person and no one can dictate your worth. It seemed so hard it almost felt unreachable to some, myself included. But what people don’t realize is that self-love isn’t a state of consistency. Some days will be harder and more often than not, you’ll find it hard to breathe or find the strength to do what you love.

Some days you won’t always love yourself, and there will be mornings where you dislike everything you see when you stare at your reflection. And even though you had a great day at work or you had a lot of fun after a night out with your friends and you can’t stop smiling about how smooth your day went, you can still still wake up feeling empty the next day. And that’s okay. As you grow older, you will realize that yes, there will be hard days, and that’s where self-love comes in.

Self-love is what you do after those horrible days. It is what you do after waking up feeling wrong in all places. Self-love is when you sit there and think of how you will respond to your bad days. Will you allow darkness to swallow you whole? Will you allow life’s painful currents to drown you? Will you stay in bed, contemplating about the things that didn’t go according to your plan?

Self-love is when you refuse to believe that you can’t get better. It is when you pull yourself together, get out of bed, and wear that nice dress you bought last week while telling yourself, “I can do this.” It is loving yourself enough to at least be okay with things and have the courage to believe that eventually, it will pass. That deep down you know there is something better than that — better than forcing yourself to get up, even though your limbs are aching. Better than trying to survive each day while fighting battles no one knows but you. Darling, there is better than that.

And when that time of day hits again and you’re stuck with difficult choices, I hope you know the right answer, and I hope you pick the right choice, because at the end of the day, it’s our choices that make us. And love? I hope you never stop choosing yourself always. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

A complicated lass and an advocate of spontaenity.

Keep up with Aubrey on Instagram and Twitter