It’s easy to always put the blame on your end, to think and assume that every fiasco is because of your doing, to just apologize even when it’s beyond your control.
You have grown so attached to the notion that saying sorry will always make up for things, will always restore them back to how they are. I regret to break this to you but no, ‘sorry’ isn’t a magic word you can just blurt out to get things working how they used to be. You have to realize that things aren’t retractable by apologies, or lack thereof.
It isn’t your fault that someone hit their toe with your table, it isn’t your fault the train is taking too long to arrive, and it definitely isn’t your fault if the office clock broke. People tend to apologize for things that are far beyond their control. So what if someone hit their toe with your armchair leg? Is it your fault they were so careless they forgot to notice there was an armchair as big as life blocking their way? People assume that when a thing associated with them hassles or causes someone to be counterproductive, they’re automatically at fault.
It just doesn’t work that way. The universe, how cruel it may be, just doesn’t operate that way.
You have immensely injected an overdose of the apology pill. You get so worked up with the unfortunate circumstances of everyday, and think that it’s better to own up to them than blame no one or nothing at all. At least there’s someone responsible, right? Wrong.
Let things happen, let them run their course, good or not. Never own up to anything you can’t control. The only thing you owe to yourself is forgiveness. Forgive yourself for always stepping up to the plate, for always taking the blame, for thinking that you are at fault. We may be taught that ‘sorry’ is the politest way to do it, but never think that it can instantly fix just about everything.
Free yourself from the responsibility no one even asked you to take. The universe has its own way of making us the absolute worst but never let it get to you, remind yourself that this is the only way to improve and be the better – heck, best – versions of ourselves. It’s one thing to own up to your mistakes and it’s another to be just simply apologetic for nothing. So keep your arsenal of apologies to yourself, do what you gotta do, and don’t let setbacks faze you.