If given the choice between bathing in sewage for the rest of my life or searching for a job, I would choose the sewage. However, it seems that having a job is a crucial step in paying for things like toilet paper so at some point, we are all forced to engage in the soul crushing practice that is the job search. Despite the uncertainty, one thing you can count on is the roller coaster of emotions. Feelings. All the feelings.
You begin bright eyed and bushytailed. This is it! The world is my oyster! I can do anything! This is going to be fun!
The career search engine pulls up 554 jobs. Vague titles such as “sales analyst, consultant and marketing manager” fill the screen. Haphazardly clicking around, you begin to wonder what a job even is.
Ahh! Finally. The perfect job pops up. This is definitely the one; you’ve found your job soul mate. The search is over.
The qualifications section. Masters Degree required. 7+ years experience. Apparently a Bachelor of Arts and a handful of summer internships isn’t going to cut it.
Definitely time for a snack. Wonder whether you should become a chef as you eat peanut butter out of the jar. Look at the peanut bar jar and quickly abandon the idea.
Find a job you are somewhat qualified for and remotely interested in. Begin to edit your cover letter and resume. Wonder if your future employer will be impressed by the award you received while in high school. Spend 20 minutes debating whether to sign the cover letter ”kind regards” or “best regards.” Re-read cover letter and resume 10 times. Does edited really only have one “t?” How many spaces between the address and the greeting? Curse yourself for not attending your universities “How to write a cover letter” workshop.
Finally submit application. Immediately after doing so, re-read cover letter and resume one more time praying you won’t find any mistakes.
Text your parents about the job you just applied for. Give them a glimmer of hope that you may actually move out.
The job search is mentally exhausting. Spend at least 30 minutes on BuzzFeed.
Rinse and Repeat.