Sure breakups can be tough, but in seeing many of my friends move into the New Year as single girls, here are some less than depressing, candid post breakup thoughts I have been witnessing.
- “I really wish he bought me that automatic car starter he was going to, it’s cold out.”
- “I should have just had sex with him one more time to tide me over for a while.”
- “I wonder if I would cry if I had sex with him now?”
- “I wonder if he would cry if I had sex with him now?”
- “Thank God I know his Netflix password though.”
- “But really though at this point what could it hurt to have sex one more time?”
- “Fuck but he still has my Blueray player, I need that to watch Netflix.”
- “It just pisses me off that half my shit is still at his house…Can he just mail it here?”
- “Just punch me in the face if I get drunk and try to text him, okay?”
- “So which of the guys that I’ve hooked up with can I hook up with again? I can’t let my number go up right now.”
- “But at least I don’t have to listen to fantasy football shit anymore.”
- “This couldn’t have happened before the holidays. I did a lot of fake smiling with his family, that shit is exhausting.”
- “I want to dress like a slut tonight. I need to celebrate being single.”
- “It’s crazy to hook up with someone who doesn’t have man boobs, I have been with him so long I forgot that was even an option.”
- “Now he just keeps texting me to tell me I look good in pictures on Facebook. Like what do I say? I know I do…thanks?”
- “Also, what is with the 3AM “Hey” text? Stop that. That’s not helping anyone.”
- “So who from High School isn’t married with a baby? Probably slim pickings now right?”
- “You know, part of me did actually think he was gay anyway.”
- “I miss his dog a lot more than I miss him. Is that bad?”
