1. Talking about sex.
Um yes hello, I just met you. I realize we are human beings, it has probably crossed my mind too, but it doesn’t mean we need to chat about it over appetizers. I just learned your last name I really don’t need a play by play on “things you’d like to do to me.”
2. Asking what my natural color is.
This isn’t offensive per say just odd. Honey, if I knew what my natural hair color is I would gladly tell you, but at this point your guess is as good as mine. Unless of course you are sensing the hair color changes as some deep rooted connection to my impulsiveness and indecisiveness, in which case- you nailed it.
3. Asking if you can kiss me.
If you have to ask I probably will instantly want to say no. What are we going to do a 3, 2, 1 countdown? Instead, I will laugh awkwardly as you jump me and that’s really not making it a pleasant experience for anyone involved. Some things can be spontaneous and asking permission is kind of a buzz kill.
4. Talking about the future.
It’s the “if I’m still around then” and “well maybe you will be there” comments. I know there is a possibility me and this person may end up dating, but why add awkward pressure and bring up things like Christmas with your parents. Yikes.
5. Asking if I like you.
Even if things are going wonderfully, this is uncomfortable. Is it really necessary to give you a progress report on the night as its happening? You are living it. You don’t need to say things like “well this seems to be going really well” that just makes me laugh a lot and then feel bad about it when you look at me confused.