I have known from a young age that I have a serious problem. This is a problem that no amount of time, effort, or presence of cameras can fix. I have come to learn that though the issue is incurable it is one you can live with if diagnosed properly. Truth is, I have little to no control over my facial expressions. Days like Christmas have not always been moments of yuletide joy. Birthdays have grown uncomfortable. There was even a moment in time when I wreaked havoc on a large portion of wedding photos by making an accidental bitch face during the Bride and Grooms first dance.
Here are signs you too may suffer from this problem:
1. Your friends have said things to you like:
- “Stop making that face.”
- “I can’t believe you kept making that face.”
- “Seriously you need to try harder to control your face.”
2. You have heard the words “She thinks you don’t like her” countless times based on “dirty looks” you have no recollection of giving. Regardless of you pretending to like people when necessary and doing your very best to hide your true feelings, people can see right through it and know when you secretly (or not so secretly) hate their guts.
3. You have caught yourself rolling your eyes at improper times such as; work meetings, listening to stories you aren’t interested in hearing, dealing with the general population.
4. You give yourself mental pep talks by reminding yourself to just keep smiling…nod your head…blink. No really, blink.
5. You don’t even pretend to be able to tell a lie.
6. When dealing with an annoying or irritating situation you can almost feel a twitch coming on from trying so hard not to give a dirty look.
7. You have unfortunately been caught on camera NUMEROUS times giving said dirty looks therefore discrediting your own plea of “I don’t make faces, I have no idea what you’re talking about.”