1. You can only mask your feelings for so long.
Drinking, partying and eating or not eating your feelings away gets old really quick. You aren’t going to just be OK instantly, but adding self destructive behavior is just going to make more issues for yourself and your current ones even harder to deal with.
2. Don’t blame your decisions on your current mental state.
Trust me, you just feel worse after. At the time you will give yourself ten reasons why whatever thing you are doing is justified (sleeping with someone you shouldn’t, eating a tub of ice cream in bed, wearing the same pair of yoga pants for four days). These things aren’t helping you and by you just dismissing it as “I’m a mess right now” you are going to let yourself perpetuate that behavior. You are stronger than you think.
3. Stop overanalyzing.
This is one is virtually impossible but you need to make a conscious effort to TRY not to think about things. You will drive yourself crazy living and reliving conversations and memories in your head. Unfortunately, THIS is where you are now. When you think about things you should have said or done or how WONDERFUL things used to be you are holding yourself back. You can’t move forward if your head is still stuck in the past.
4. Stop playing the blame game.
At this point does it really matter whose fault it was? Whatever happened, happened. It sucks but really there is a good chance too much damage has been done to go back to how things were despite whose fault it may or may not have been. Blaming yourself for something you can’t change will make you feel terrible. Blaming someone else is just harvesting negative energy and the only one it will ultimately hurt is you.
5. Tell yourself that some of the BEST days of your life are still ahead of you.
After a breakup there is certainly a BIG fear of the unknown that settles in. Will I find someone else? What if they don’t live up to that other person? OR, what if this is a second chance for something even BETTER to come along. Maybe your story isn’t going to end the way you planned, but it’s quite possible that it could be even better than you anticipated. Sometimes you have to deal with a LOT of bullshit to get to the good stuff, and this might just be a necessary detour along the way.