Choose People Who Choose You

It’s easy to wake up every morning with a full cup and even easier to allow everyone to take from your cup throughout the day without even realizing it. You’re a giver. You’re a people pleaser. You like to lend a helping hand whenever and wherever you can. There’s nothing wrong with this. There’s nothing wrong with this at all. There is, however, a problem with how you feel at the end of the day because of this. There is a problem if you feel like you’re being used. There is a problem with feeling exhausted and defeated at the end of the day and not feeling as though those people would do the same for you. There is a problem with putting your needs and wants on the backburner to help these other people.

Time means nothing.

I’ve been friends with people I’ve known almost my entire life. I’ve gone above and beyond for them. I’ve been there in an instant every time the sun has forgotten to shine. I’ve come rushing at the drop of a dime and constantly been the backbone when one was missing. I’ve shown up, stuck up, stuck it through, learned when to keep my mouth shut, and been there in all of the times that it counted. What does that leave me with? What am I left feeling like at the end of the day? I’m feeling resentful and hateful. I’m feeling like I’m constantly giving and giving in this friendship and the other is only just taking. I’m feeling like I’m always losing when I’m the one who shows up every single time.

Stop choosing people who aren’t choosing you.

Love means nothing.

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’ve loved friends and significant others more than I’ve loved myself sometimes. I’ve thrown myself into my best friend’s family because I didn’t have one of my own. I’ve allowed a man to treat me like a doormat. I’ve allowed friends to use me for money or because I’m a “good time,” and I’ve allowed boys to have me any way they wanted. I’ve allowed my parents to manipulate me because I felt as though I owe them something. I did these things because these were people I loved and I believed they loved me back. Newsflash: I loved them, but most of them just forgot to love me back. Now I’m feeling angry. I’m feeling used. I’m feeling dumb. I’m feeling hurt that I allowed people I loved to leave me feeling like half of a person.

The type of relationship means nothing.

This could be your best friend, friend with benefits, business partner, roommate, friend of a friend. IT SIMPLY DOESN’T MATTER. If you feel like you’re being depended on too much, it’s time to take a break. It’s time to take a step back before you begin getting hateful. Before you begin feeling stressed, exhausted, and as if you’re suffering because of it. It could be constant favors, borrowing money, running errands, etc. It doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter who it is or what the situation is. It’s time to get a little selfish and choose people who only choose you. It’s time to put yourself first and realize that not everyone has the heart that you do. Not everyone sees their faults or what they’re doing to you. Not everyone realizes that they’re slowly sucking the life out of you and you just need to come up for air once in a while.

Choose you. You deserve it.

About the author
Indiana University. B.A. English. Follow Ashley on Instagram or read more articles from Ashley on Thought Catalog.

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