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This Is The Year That You Stop Being Somebody For Everybody Else

Everyone’s looking for the same exact thing in this world. Everyone’s looking to love and be loved back. Without hesitation. Without question. Without insecurity. Without second guesses or what-ifs. You’re not necessarily wrong for wanting this, but do you love yourself in all of these ways? If the answer is no, then how are you supposed to hold someone else to that expectation? It’s simple: You can’t. You can’t expect someone else to love you unconditionally if you don’t love yourself that way. You can’t expect someone to hold you together if you can’t do that for yourself.

Take a step back and check yourself.

Stop trying to be somebody to or for someone else. Be that somebody for you and only you. It’s okay to be a little selfish now and then. And now is that time. You spent six years being a doormat and holding a man’s hand every step of the way to get him to be an adult. Now he’s being that adult for someone else. You then spent three more years being in a non-relationship relationship to a man that lied the entire time, constantly treated you like shit, and failed to see what a terrible person and father he was. Now he’s doing that same thing to someone else. Then there was the six months you spent with the person that was the definition of TOXIC. The two of you together were detrimental to everyone around you. Now he’s suddenly trying to get his shit together for someone else.

It’s always going to be someone else if you keep making the extra room for that someone else.

With all of the things that have happened, don’t you think you deserve to be a little selfish? Don’t you think you deserve to take a step back and realize that you have ALWAYS been that person for someone other than yourself? You have always put their needs and wants ahead of your own and it screws you every single time. Change that. Stop allowing yourself to get screwed. STOP SCREWING YOURSELF.

Realize what you want and what you deserve and make that happen. Stop allowing men that, quite frankly, don’t mean shit to diminish your worth and who you are as a person. Stop allowing them to make you feel less than the boss ass bitch that you are. Just stop allowing all of it.

Be the change you want to see.

2021 is the year of change. 2021 is the year of saying goodbye to fuckboys, focusing on bettering yourself for no one other than yourself, and finding what makes you happy and striving for nothing less than that. 2021 is the year of realizing that your type is dumpster fires and you need to change that. 2021 is the year that you will be the change you want in your life.

Be somebody, but do it only for you.

About the author
Indiana University. B.A. English. Follow Ashley on Instagram or read more articles from Ashley on Thought Catalog.

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