Breaking Up

Read This If You Just Got Out Of A Shitty Relationship

We’ve all been in shitty relationships. That’s not what defines us. It’s what we choose to do after that shitty relationship that matters. If you weren’t necessarily in a “shitty” relationship, but it still ended and you were left alone and hurt, you’re still in the same boat. There are one of two things that happened.

You were in a toxic relationship that was doomed from the beginning

You were in a relationship that felt perfect, but evidently it was not.

Scenario one: For those of you who were in toxic relationships and stayed because you were hoping for change: What were you thinking was going to change? Y’all weren’t meant to be together. He blatantly treated you like shit, disregarded your feelings on a semi-regular basis, and the cheating was nonstop. He constantly slipped and fell into other vaginas, and you began thinking there was something wrong with you.

You began drinking excessively and sleeping with whoever, whenever. The second that anyone showed a slight interest in you, you ran. You somehow deemed yourself undeserving of happiness in yourself and a potential partner because you were under the ridiculous understanding that he broke you and you were somehow damaged goods.

NO, BITCH. You are and ALWAYS will be a badass. You deserve so much more than you give yourself credit for. You’ve been through hell and back and are one of the strongest people you know. When everyone else is having a meltdown and can’t seem to go on, they come to you and you help put everything back together for them.

NOT TODAY, SATAN. Today, you focus on you and get a little selfish. You deserve so much more than you’re willing to admit, because you were burned before. It’s time to let your guard down and accept the love you deserve.

Scenario two: For those of you who were in a relationship that felt perfect and it was clearly not, because well, you were left alone and hurt, there is ALWAYS a silver lining.

THEY DIDN’T DESERVE YOU.

They didn’t see all of your imperfect yet perfect quirks that made your personality so attractive and beautiful. They didn’t appreciate that you would’ve done absolutely anything for them. They didn’t understand the true value of your love.

And that’s fine. You’re not the problem, they are. But you are, however, allowing this failed relationship to define the type of happiness you’re allowing yourself to accept. Don’t do this. Don’t paint yourself as the villain in your story when you’re not. Don’t allow yourself to be burned over and over again by no one but yourself because you refuse to accept a worthwhile love.

At the end of the day, YOU are what matters. Allow yourself to be happy. Allow yourself to deserve happiness and everything that comes along with that. Allow yourself to give your heart to someone who wants it. TC mark

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About the author
Indiana University. B.A. English. Follow Ashley on Instagram or read more articles from Ashley on Thought Catalog.

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