Deception Was Your Best Trait Of All

I heard the rumors. Everyone warned me. I knew that there was probably some kind of truth to them, but I chose to ignore them. I chose to believe you and the very best in you because I had hoped that by giving you the benefit of the doubt, you wouldn’t leave me looking like a fool.

Well, guess what? I was wrong.

I spent six months defending you, your character, the type of father you were, hiding the fact that you actually treated me like shit sometimes so that I wouldn’t hear the dreaded “I told ya so” from everyone who warned me to get out and stay away. But you actually put on quite a show. Little did I know that deception was going to be your best trait of all.

You somehow made me believe every word you said. We were very clear in the beginning that we weren’t looking for anything serious. We were simply friends that had sex. Well, six months later and that changed, believe it or not. We were together without a label, but the thought of that freaked you out. It wasn’t until today that I learned why.

I had heard about the girls before me and during me, but like an adult, I came to you. You told me there was no truth to it. I should’ve known when there was red flag after red flag, but that’s the price you pay when you begin to open your heart to someone who doesn’t deserve it. You ignore the red flags. You try to believe the good in that person. You convince yourself that he genuinely gives a shit about you.

You hold him to such a low standard that it’s almost disgusting that he’s still able to disappoint you.

You began opening up to me about relationships in your past, your current relationship with the mother of your child, your mother, how depressed you were about not working, how you were having a hard time finding a new vehicle. I genuinely thought things were progressing. You were sharing things with me you hadn’t before and I finally thought things were getting better.

Guess what? I was wrong again.

You used that as a pawn to make me feel bad for you. You used that to be able to use me. You used what you knew would work to beat me into submission so that before I knew it, you had me wrapped around your finger. All I ever did was care for you. I asked you to be honest with me from the beginning and you couldn’t even do that.

Please, do us both a favor and forget that we ever existed because believe me, I’m trying to. Delete my number. Don’t even think about Snapchatting me or texting me after a long night of drinking. I will no longer be that person for you. You never deserved her in the first place.

I hope you realize that you took advantage and used someone who literally would’ve done anything for you. Good luck in your deception, your lies, and your long run of bad decision making. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Indiana University. B.A. English.

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