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To The Girls Who Don’t Always Love Themselves

To the girl who doesn’t always love herself,

You’re worth more than you think. Sure, you’ve had a lot of bad things happen to you. You’ve lost a parent. You’ve allowed a man to treat you like shit. You’ve allowed your worth to be determined by what someone else thinks of you. You’ve made yourself smaller, to make other people seem bigger. You’ve walked away from toxic relationships. You were put down for saying what you feel.

These are all things about you that make you, YOU. Life is a big, fat, gigantic stinking mess, but that’s the beauty of it too. You’ve taken these hardships and still managed to come out smiling. Sure, there’s pain there, there is for everyone. You’ve taken life’s curveballs and knocked them out of the park with that insanely contagious laugh of yours. Life has given you lemons and you’ve managed to make the sweetest damn lemonade. It’s hard to wake up some days? I get it. Find a reason and let that reason be solely for YOU.

Do it for yourself.

No one is ever going to have your back like you do. That voice inside your head telling you that you just can’t do it anymore is a girl you need to shut up. You’ve been through so much and allowed such poor behavior in your life from others, that you somehow find yourself unworthy.


You are enough.

If you lost a parent:

It doesn’t get easier. There is forever a missing part of you. What you choose to do with that missing part is up to you. Don’t fill that void with vodka, men, or other illicit things. Fill that void with SELF LOVE. Learn to love yourself and others around you like that deceased parent of yours did when they were still here and still continue to do.

If you allowed a man to treat you like shit:

Girl, we’ve all been there. We’ve given our all to someone who didn’t deserve it. Stop beating yourself up over it. At one point, he was exactly what you wanted and you were happy in that moment. Don’t look back as being stupid or feeling dumb for what you put up with. Look back and look at it as a lesson learned. Feel no regrets, and move the fuck on. What you choose to do with the next man is what matters. If you still allow the same bullshit or allow the next guy to treat you poorly, then you need to reevaluate why.

If you allowed your worth to be determined by someone else:

I’m just as guilty as the rest of you. You allowed your love for someone else to mask your own needs, wants, and pleasures. Your sole purpose became making sure that person never went without or had to worry about a single thing. You began neglecting yourself and suddenly began seeing yourself through that other person’s eyes. You allowed their ego to overshadow every amazing quality about you. Don’t do that. Do not sell yourself short. You’re beautiful in every single way.

If you walked away from toxic relationships:

GOOD FOR YOU. If you had the balls to walk away when that relationship no longer benefited you, you deserve a pat on the back. You’re stronger than you think. It’s heartbreakingly hard to do this, but you did.

You’re worth more than you give yourself credit for sometimes. Your hair isn’t always clean? That’s what dry shampoo is for. You ripped a contact? Throw those bifocals on. Your jeans are a little tighter? Grab a pair of leggings. You keep focusing on all of your “imperfections” instead of seeing the beauty in everything that you are. You are amazing. Your smile is beautiful. Your eyes twinkle to someone. Your laugh is the best part of someone’s day.

Love yourself, girl. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Indiana University. B.A. English.

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