Let Me Just Say This Before I Walk Away

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Joanna Nix / Unsplash

The Ultimate Ultimatum.

You were the first guy I’ve shown interest in since my last relationship. Sure, I’ve given several others my body, but none of them were ever worth actually liking/getting to know. For the most part, I knew them, but I just didn’t like what I knew about them enough to want anything more.

I met you and never considered a romantic or sexual thought about you before. I went out with you on a whim. I didn’t know that I would end up liking you as much as I did. I wanted to keep it strictly casual and you changed that for me. You made things seem as though you were looking for more than that, and at first, I wasn’t sure if I liked that because I liked the idea of it or if I actually liked you. Truthfully, I actually liked you. Sure, we had sex quite a bit, but that’s something I can do with anyone.

I wanted you for different reasons.

I wanted you for the way you looked at me. I wanted you for the way that you called me out on my bullshit. I wanted you for the way you told me “no.” I wanted you because you called me sassy. I wanted you because you originally made an effort to see me/spend time with me. I wanted you because you were easy to talk to. I wanted you because I was able to openly be myself around you. I wanted you because you understood my sense of humor along with my difficult behavior. I wanted you because I could count on you to be there when I had a little too much to drink. I wanted you because of the way you laughed at me when I rapped Cardi B songs. I wanted you because it was like you already knew so much about me without me having to tell you anything at all.

And then that changed.

It all changed. You’re the only one to blame for it. You started switching things up on me. Why? Because you were afraid. You weren’t ready for anything serious. Well guess what? I wasn’t looking for that either. No one is. You’ve managed to get exactly what you want though. You keep me at an arm’s length, don’t make an effort to see me, but still make it a point to talk to me every single day to keep me caught up in my feelings. Well enough is enough.

A few weeks ago, I gave you an ultimatum. You needed to get it together/figure it out. Your response was simple: “Or what?” Or I’m done. I’m out. I’m not playing this particular game with you anymore. I have feelings for you. I like you. It’s completely obvious. What’s not completely obvious, however, is you and what you feel. Clearly, you’re into me, but guess what? We’re not 12. That’s not enough.

So here it goes, here’s the ultimate ultimatum. Declare your feelings and do something about them, or I’m walking away. You know me well enough to know that I don’t sugarcoat anything and the only games I like to play are the ones where I win. So either jump all in and play or allow me to play another opponent.

Game on. TC mark

Ashley Spargo

Indiana University. B.A. English.

Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again

Nothing scares me more than someone loving me one day and deciding they don’t want me the next. Nothing terrifies me more than being so close to someone and then watching them become a stranger again.

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