Don’t Chase Him

woman standing on sunflower garden
Daniel Chekalov / Unsplash

Don’t be the kind of girl who chases a guy. Don’t be the kind of girl that clears the entire bench for the starter. Don’t be the kind of girl who would be that stupid.

Let’s get real; you’re probably going to do it anyway.

I’m not saying you should be waiting for Prince Charming by any means. We all know he doesn’t actually exist. However, you shouldn’t take yourself out of the game entirely. It’s a game that everyone has to learn to play even if you don’t want to. Dating is overrated depending on who the guy is so it may not even be worth playing at all.

You’ll meet a guy, hit it off, and probably think that things are pretty awesome. He’ll get you and every sarcastically dickish comment you make and know that there is some slight truth to the comments you make. It’ll be like you found someone you can be yourself with, laugh with, and just have fun with! You’ll become intimate and that attraction is immediate. It’ll be the kind of intimacy you’ve been looking for quite some time and you’ll crave it more and more. Before you know it, you’re hooked.

And that’s when things will change.

He’ll suddenly pull away and leave you wondering why. After you’ve questioned what you did wrong, you’ll go to him about it. After several times of asking, he’ll tell you that he’s not ready for a relationship and you think that’s simply the dumbest thing you’ve ever heard. You just got out of the WORSE possible relationship so you were just looking to keep things casual and see what could happen.

Naturally, you express this.

You both come to an agreement to keep it casual and continue hooking up. Seems pretty great, right?


Nothing has changed. He’s still being just as weird and distant. He hasn’t tried to hang out with you or hook up, but you still talk pretty much every day.


The answer is simple. He’s got you. He knows you’re hooked. PUMP THE BREAKS. This is the moment where the clarity hits and you finally have a euphony.


You should never have to chase any man. Any guy that wants to spend time with you will make an effort. Any guy that wants to talk to you will make an effort. Any guy that wants you in his life will make an effort.

The truth is, if you have to force it, it’s not worth it. Your time is valuable. Your smile is beautiful. Your laugh is contagious. Don’t clear the bench until you have a reason to. That reason needs to come from him directly. Either wait for that or walk away.

Don’t be that stupid girl. Know your worth. Know you’re better than that. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Indiana University. B.A. English.

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