This Is For The Girl Who Doesn’t Feel Good Enough

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Rodolfo Sanches Carvalho / Unsplash

We’ve all been there. If you’re coming out of a very exhausting and toxic relationship, I feel you. They never realize how much of you they’re actually taking. They take and they take and all you ask for is to be loved and shown that same love and respect on a regular basis. Is that so much to ask? He’ll leave you feeling like it is though and that is not okay. It is however, okay to be a little selfish sometimes. He is, so why can’t you?

If you’re coming out of a long relationship and feeling a little lost and empty, I promise, it will pass. I know it’s easier said than done, but you will come out on top. This statement is the most true if he lied, cheated, and blatantly disrespected you on a semi regular basis.  Know that you’re better than that. You have to keep telling yourself that no one deserves that. I know it’s hard because in all reality, this is as good as it’s going to get. You’re not going to get any prettier and you sure as hell aren’t going to get any younger, but that doesn’t matter.  And no one should ever make you feel as though it does. You should be giving your all to someone who thinks the sun shines out of your ass and vice versa.

He lied to you, so what? He cheated on you, so what? He blatantly ignored you when you didn’t deserve to be ignored, so what? I’m not saying that it’s okay or that there’s justification for his bullshit and blatant disrespect. You were there every time.  When he was getting ready to go out of town for work to do his laundry and pack his suitcase, you were there. He couldn’t figure out how to write a resume, you were there. You were there for every cold. You were there to clean up after him like the little child he was. You were there to help him write last minute papers because he was too busy partying all weekend with his friends. You were there. You were there in all the times that he didn’t deserve for you to be. You know why? Because you are enough. You were the ride or die chick and you still are, you just need a little help seeing it right now.

I know you’re feeling lost and as though he’s taken something from you. You’re also feeling a little sad about the fact that you aren’t together, but take it from me, this too shall pass. It feels like the end of the world right now, but it’s not. He did you a favor. He gave you the out that you so desperately needed. You sacrificed so much of yourself for someone who couldn’t even plan a nice evening for you in the six years that you were together. He cheated and you’re wondering why. There is no reason why and don’t you dare blame yourself. Don’t try comparing yourself to her either. That kind of guy will always mess something up for someone who’s not as pretty as you. That’s on him, not you. Don’t sit there wondering how, what, why, when.  It’s not worth it. A cheater will always go for what’s easy and what looks semi okay after twelve drinks.

The best feeling in the world is confiding in your real friends and having people and family tell you that you were too pretty and much too good for him in the first place. That’s definitely a mind twister. It leaves you wondering “Awesome, why didn’t you tell me this before?” When in all reality, it wouldn’t have changed your mind. You simply fell in love with the wrong person.

Just because you fell in love with the wrong person does not mean that you are anywhere near broken. You learned from this experience and you now know what you’re willing to put up with and what you’re not. You now know what’s good for you and what’s not. You now know that nothing is worth the bullshit of wondering when he’s coming home, who he’s with, what he’s doing, where he’s at, why he’s in some random girls’ Snapchat. No one is worth that. You don’t need that. Someone thinks the world of you, you just haven’t realized it yet. He’s more than likely a friend that you’ve overlooked for so long because you were caught up in something toxic and unhappy. You deserve to be happy, however that may happen, and with whomever. You have a smile that lights up someone’s world. Your eyes sparkle to someone. Your laugh is the best part of someone’s day. So laugh more, smile more, and dance in your underwear. You deserve it and you are enough. TC mark

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