Romance

The Unedited Truth About Life After A Toxic Relationship

Love should never hurt. Love should come easy and be happy and fun a majority of the time.

Someone that actually loves you will never hit you or make you feel like you’re worthless. You are not a punching bag nor are you someone that deserves to feel like everything is always your fault because the truth is – it’s not. The worst thing you can do is allow yourself to believe that what they are telling you is true.

Remember how much people loved you before you got into this relationship. It’s definitely hard to remove yourself from something that you’ve become so used to, and also very scary to try to leave when you have been told so many times that no one else will “love” you again. Trust me, you never want someone to “love” you that way ever again. Although it might be scary, do not be ashamed to tell your family and friends what is going on and that you truly do need help getting away. The longer you stay in an unhealthy relationship, the longer you have to deal with it and the longer you put your health and well-being at risk.

Once you finally make the decision to leave and actually go through with it is the day that you can begin to find yourself again. At first, it’s scary and you feel so alone. There are so many things that you’ve gone through and kept bottled up it’s like you’re a volcano ready to explode. You don’t see how things can ever get better, but trust me they will. Spend time with that one amazing friend that has always been there for you, and never judges you. Tell them what you’ve been going through all this time.

Days will start to pass quickly and before you know it it’s been months since you’ve been free. You start to go do things again and get your own routine without that horrible person in your life. Eventually, you feel like you actually matter again. There’s suddenly a light of hope, and it feels like a heavy weight has been lifted off of you. Time continues to pass and after enough of it goes by, you discover who you really are. You can see the things that really matter to you and the thing or even people that are worth spending time with. You can finally be completely happy all by yourself. This is something that you never could have imagined would happen to you after feeling so down all the time. Life begins to be easy and there is not any unnecessary stress. You can look back at everything you went through and see what a strong person you are and how far you have come.

Someone new will eventually come into your life, and this person will treat you exactly how you should be treated. There will not be any fear. This person will make you feel good about yourself, not bad. This is what real love should feel like. After all of the negative that you have overcome, there’s finally something extremely positive.

There may be times when you reflect on the bad relationship and have a hard time trusting that all of the good things you are being told are actually true, but you have to remember that you can not make someone pay for the way someone else treated you in the past. The best thing you can do is just talk to them and let them know why you have a hard time trusting and why you have such a high wall up. Give this person a chance, and realize that there really are good genuine people left in this world. Let yourself be happy. TC mark

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I have come a long way from who I was when I was younger. Follow Ashley on Instagram or read more articles from Ashley on Thought Catalog.