You and your new crush have gone on a few great dates, and everything’s going well – chemistry, laughing, flirting – and it looks like things might move forward. Nothing beats the butterflies you get when falling for someone new!
However, there’s a phase just before “Facebook official” that has the potential to make or break a budding relationship, and it involves a lot of one word: if.
Singles today have so many resources for finding their perfect match, with all these different dating sites and up-and-coming apps, but there are also new problems, such as having to flirt in a way that translates well through text or, the worst, ghosting. No wonder the beginning stages of romance are so nerve racking!
To put your mind at ease, here’s a list of things that you don’t need to worry about:
1. How they text.
I’m sure I’m not the only one who’s had to explain a text (“I was being sarcastic!” or “No, I really meant that”). Talking to a new squeeze can get real confusing, real fast, especially if you can’t gauge the tone of a message. Before you spend the next hour rereading the same two sentences, try to imagine what they’re like in person. Do they have a dry sense of humor? Are they usually literal or straightforward?
Ultimately, the way a person texts is an extension of their personality and isn’t likely to change. If you’re into them, make the best of it – and get used to it!
2. How they work.
In addition to the way a person communicates is how often they’re able to. While most of us are able to sneak the occasional text, not everyone has that luxury. If you haven’t heard from your new boo all day, check the calendar!
We all know that some workweeks are harder than others, for some more than others. Don’t let an afternoon of radio silence get you down! They might just be super stressed at work. Why don’t you try texting in the evening to ask how their day was? (You should get back to work anyway.)
3. How they drink.
Although you might feel woozy after a glass or two, some folks are just able to hold their liquor better than others. Don’t consider someone’s drinking habits a red flag before you need to; their behavior is more important than their intake.
And besides, if you’ve only been out together a few times, maybe you’re just making them nervous – take it as a small compliment! If it seems like your date is overdoing it with the liquid courage, making a joke can help ease the tension. It can be easy as a simple laugh, and “I’m nervous too!”
4. How they plan.
Whether you’ve mastered the art of time management or have trouble staying on track, scheduling is tricky. Getting to know someone’s routine can be difficult, especially if that person doesn’t really have one.
Don’t be offended if they actually need to schedule time with you. It shows that they’re making the effort, and that they want to be able to dedicate all their attention to you while you’re together.
Alternatively, if you date is less of a schedule-hound than you, try to meet them in the middle a bit. They’ll have to adjust to your limited availability, so compromise will play a big role in the future of the relationship.
5. How they let you in.
To put it plainly, not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve. There’s a sweet intimacy that accompanies opening up to someone new, and a specific kind of satisfaction after they reciprocate.
However, some people have more scars and stories than others, while others simply have a thicker wall to break through. If someone doesn’t open up to you, it’s not your fault, or anyone’s, for that matter. A lack of disclosure is not the same as a lack of trust.
Similarly, if you care about them, be a little patient – the reward can be worth the wait.