As we get older, we are taught that the end goal of everything is to settle down and find someone. We go through life trying so hard to achieve that, and at this point most of us are scared to be alone. We feel to grow, we need someone by our side leading the way to discover who we truly are.
Without that other person we are perceived as incomplete or lonely. We even judge others on their relationship status. But why? We have our entire lives to find someone, so why are we in such a rush to get it over with?
News Flash: We shouldn’t be.
I am a serial dater. I’ve been since I was 15 and part of me thought that I needed to have a boyfriend to be just somewhat interesting. Here I am five years later, 20 years old and finally single. After being in a year relationship, I woke up and realized something.
Your relationship status does not determine your worth.
As you watch everyone pair up, get married, and start having a family you think that maybe you’re not as happy because you don’t have that. No one wants to be lonely and so we are pressured into finding someone who is just as unhappy as us being single. But are we really ready to give our lives to someone else? To be completely responsible for another human being? I’m not at all, but some of us are and thats ok.
Being in a relationship is great don’t get me wrong. Finding that person that brings you joy everyday is beautiful and there is no other feeling like it. But it isn’t always what it seems. Sometimes you have to take a step back and actually ask yourself, am I really happy? Is this love?
I thought that my last relationship was going to be the one. I was blinded by an idea and couldn’t really see what was happening around me. It shouldn’t be that hard. Don’t try to weigh the pros and cons. A relationship is not one sided so if you are sitting there one day trying to decide if he or she loves you enough, you deserve better.
I get to wake up in the morning and make my own decisions. I don’t have to worry about where someone is or what they are doing. Being single is giving me the freedom to discover who I really am and what I like. This is what people take for granted.
I honestly didn’t think I would be alright being alone. The reality is that its ok to be single.
I’m a firm believer in the saying you cant be happy with someone until you are happy with yourself. Self-discovery is the great benefit of being alone. Sometimes I am lonely but I’m blessed with a great family and amazing friends. So my big advice is date yourself.
Fall in love with who you are, not with an idea of what a relationship could bring you. Learn how to make yourself happy. Go out and find something you really enjoy doing even if its with friends.
You deserve the best and one day when you’re not expecting it, you’re going to meet someone that makes it all worth it. You are going to find that love that lasts. It may not be next month or even next year. Its not going to be easy, but it is worth it.