This Is The Ugly Truth About Modern Dating

Girl who hates modern dating
Unsplash / Courtney Clayton

There are so many ways to meet people. At work (definitely frowned upon), the gym, a bar (try to avoid this one), church, sporting events, concerts, the Bachelorette, etc. Yet everyone relies on social media and dating sites these days.

Snapchat

Have you noticed that in 2017, guys are more likely to ask for your snap account than your phone number? Listen bro, there are ways to screenshot your dirty pictures without you knowing. (FYI, if you send me a dirty pic without my prior approval, I will show all of my friends). The save feature comes in handy too. There is also the whole, did he view my story? He didn’t? Ok, do I view his? It’s so complicated!

Instagram

Like, like, like, comment, like, comment. DM. It’s happened to us all.

Facebook

Have you ever received a friend request from a guy you didn’t know only to realize said fella went through their friend’s lists friend’s lists to find single girls that they found attractive? Then you ignore said request to then receive a follow up message? Or have you ever noticed when recently single guys start liking every single one of your posts? Also followed up with a message?

Twitter

You know, I haven’t really had any problems with Twitter (knock on wood).

Match.com

Though I haven’t been on this site in years, I can honestly tell you it wasn’t a pleasant experience. All ages speak to you. Sir, you are older than my father. While I’m flattered, it’s never happening, like ever.

Tinder

If you could only see the messages that men send. It’s enough to make a truck driver blush! No sir, I am not DTF you or you and your current girlfriend/wife.

Coffee And Bagel

Honestly, this one might be my favorite dating app. It has combined both Match.com and Tinder together. You get some personal info (school, job, height, likes, what he is looking for, etc) plus pictures. No one you don’t match with can send you messages (thankfully!). The negative is that the conversations time out quickly.

My point is, with so many ways to communicate with people, no one takes dating seriously. No one is just talking to one person (and, darling, if you are, I can guarantee you that he isn’t).

If the other person doesn’t receive a text or a call or a snap or a like, they are swiping, liking, or texting someone else for their next date.

It’s a vicious circle where everyone is looking for someone better. Even when they find that better person, they think they can do even better.

If a date happens, it’s usually because one of the two has unrealistic expectations. Him: that he’ll get laid. Her: that he will pay.

Both will ultimately move on to the next match, like, or message and likely end up in the exact same scenario of disappointment over and over again.

A friend of mine tells me all the time that she wishes she could have dated in the 80s when it was less complicated. I’m certain it was still complicated, they just didn’t have to decipher the “he didn’t respond to my text, but he liked my picture on Instagram” conundrum that is dating in 2017.

Maybe it’s just best to pretend it’s 1989, turn on MTV (you had to have heard that Unplugged is coming back by now!), and pour yourself a strong glass of “this is just the way it is.”

The only way to change it is to change our own habits. Quit swiping. Quit liking. Quit accepting.

Try meeting someone in real life and then not Googling them 30 seconds after they are out of sight. Try having a conversation without staring at your phone the whole time.

Cheers to the next date we each have with people we’ve met in real life! TC mark

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