What I Wish I Had Said After You Left

What I Wish I Had Said After You Left

It all happened so fast. One moment I was lying right beside you in your bed, and the next you disappeared without so much as a goodbye.

I was left heartbroken, but you didn’t care. You had found someone else, someone better who could be there for you in ways you thought I couldn’t. Then when that ended, you came back to me. I shouldn’t have let you in again, but I had hoped you realized what you missed out on. But that wasn’t the case, so you walked out of my life for the second and final time.

I still think about you though. I miss us. I replay every moment we shared over and over in my head, hoping you’ll make your way into my life once more.

Why didn’t we work?

We were so good together. We understood each other’s sarcastic sense of humor. You can’t deny that it all felt right, like we were meant to be.

I wonder what I did wrong. What did I say or do to cause you to leave me for good? Was I really not enough, or was I too much?

Ever since I told you I wanted more and you rejected me, I can’t help but shake this feeling that I’ll never be right for anyone. After you, it felt as though all I would ever know is what it’s like to be second best.

You didn’t want me, so why would anyone else?

But none of this matters to you. You got off scot-free while I had to pick myself up over and over again every single day, forcing myself to move on.

I want to hate you, but I don’t. I want to forget you, but I can’t. How could someone who didn’t give a damn about me leave such a lasting impression on me?

As much as I’d give anything to have you back, please stay away, because I know I couldn’t handle you walking out on me. But if you did want to come back, even for a moment, I’d gladly deal with the burn.

Playing with your fire was the best thing that happened to me, and I’m not sure I’ll ever find anyone better than you. I hope you find your forever person. I know she isn’t me, but I’m willing to sacrifice my happiness for yours. Always.

Please, don’t forget me. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

A lover of pop punk, potatoes, pasta, pizza and cats, Ashley fills her days with naps, Netflix and food.

Keep up with Ashley on Twitter

More From Thought Catalog