8 Reasons Why I Turned You Down When You Asked Me Out

1. You think you’re entitled to me

There’s no rule that says just because you like someone that they have to like you back. If you think that just because you have feelings for me that you DESERVE me, then you’re sadly mistaken. You need to recognize the reality that nobody deserves anything in life and that I don’t owe you anything for your feelings. So as much as I would normally feel bad for turning someone down, in this case I do not feel one ounce of remorse. Maybe if you would have treated me like an actual human being instead of just some prize you’re entitled to, then things would have been different.

2. You’re a self-proclaimed “nice guy”

There is a huge difference between a nice guy and a “nice guy”. Nice guys are genuinely nice and respect you; “nice guys” are nice solely for the sake of getting what they want and when they’re not successful they whine about being placed in the friendzone. When you called yourself a nice guy, I probably set Olympic records for how fast I ran away from you.

3. You said that you don’t like girls who are “too wide”

I understand that people have preferences but do you know how many people you’re disrespecting and making feel bad about themselves with this statement? Anyone who blatantly ignores feelings of others and voices ignorant opinions like this is someone I don’t want to be associated with.

4. You told me I “look lonely”

You wanna know who’s gonna be lonely? You after I never speak to you again. Seriously, does it not cross people’s minds that maybe, just MAYBE, some people are content with being alone? I may very well spend 80% of my time alone but I’m also completely O-K with that. Being alone is not always correlated with loneliness (and vice versa).

5. You look down on me and treat me as if I’m dumb

There is no acceptable reason to look down on someone. Ever. End of story. So the fact that you do this (whether consciously or not) is a complete deal breaker. This guy asked me what type of music I listen to and when I responded with a different list of bands/musicians than he thought I would say he told me that was a good joke and that he bets I listen to meaningless pop music, which is offensive in so many ways — one, that he’s claiming pop music is never meaningful and two, that I’m not capable of understanding or relating to music with an actual point or meaning.

6. You stalked me from across the room for a year

This guy had been staring at me in class for a year (his friend told me this because I had no clue; I am unsure of what he thought I would do with this information other than be extremely creeped out) and then started sitting beside me with his friend and forcing themselves upon me. They would sit wherever I sat, no matter where I was in the room and invite me daily to hangout with them. When I’d turn them down they’d call me out on “having nothing better to do”, as if they were doing me a favor. So eventually, I got sick of their games and began turning them down with a flat out “no”.

7. You don’t respect me enough to value me saying no

One necessary component of any relationship or friendship is respect. If I tell you I’m not interested then you should respect that. That doesn’t mean you need to keep asking someone out multiple times a day in hopes that they’ll be worn down. I’m sorry, but life’s not all roses and sunny skies. You’re gonna get turned down at some point in your life and why should I have to put myself in a situation I don’t want to be in just to please you? What would that accomplish? Not only is all of this the equivalent of spitting in the face of the validity of my emotions and opinions, but it’s not a matter of persistence — it just makes you seem like someone who can’t handle rejection.

8. You said that women have it easy and just have to say “yes” whereas men have to do “all the hard work”

If this is seriously how you perceive dating to be, then please get away from me. It’s not a matter of who’s doing the most work. It’s a question of whether or not both parties like each other. And in order to be able to say yes, boys have to actually ask you out and all I’ve ever gotten is assholes like this dude who think they own me, who I’d never in a million years say yes to. TC mark

featured image – The Bachelor

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  • http://theradicalidea.wordpress.com Randi Saunders

    Reblogged this on theradicalidea and commented:
    I think this just summed up a lot of points about relationship dynamics and the sense of entitlement that can distort or influence them. Many of the problematic aspects of our culture surrounding both sex and romantic relationships is a pervasive idea that men are socialized to that says that they are entitled to a woman, particularly if they behave in a particular way. The author of this piece does a beautiful job of summarizing why that’s just incorrect.

  • http://theundergroundpaper.wordpress.com/2014/04/22/8-reasons-why-i-turned-you-down-when-you-asked-me-out/ 8 Reasons Why I Turned You Down When You Asked Me Out |

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