My dating history is a disaster, a complete tornado. Dating is hard enough as it is, but I make it even harder by being a sports junkie. Not just a fan, a junkie. When the guy wants to talk about sports, I talk about sports. When they think I’m finally done, I think it’s a good time to send them articles and YouTube videos. It seems like some times they want to talk about things other than sports, but I really can’t understand why.
If you need more information, here’s an Account of My Dating History:
1. The ‘I Need to Watch Sports All the Fucking Time Date’. There’s nothing wrong with going out for dinner and glancing at the TV once in a while to catch the score. That’s reasonable, I’d say. Is it reasonable to disregard the other person mid-story to completely focus on the game? Is it reasonable on the way back from the washroom to stop and stare at the TV for the ENTIRE shoot out? Apparently not? Might I add these were regular season games, not even playoffs. Maybe it’s best to schedule dates around hockey games. Go-Fuck-Yourself was how that date ended.
2. Tinder. Well Tinder is a mess of its own. There are so many aspects of tinder that are downright cringe worthy. My current Tinder profile reads: “NHL and Chill, looking for someone to watch the NHL playoffs with. Leafs fan in the regular season is a plus.” Turns out that’s considered obnoxious by some people. Netflix & Chill? Don’t have time for that, the game is on.
3. The Gambler. #ItsOnlyAProblemIfYouCantAffordIt. A few small bets are fine, a little indulgence can be fun. It’s alarming, however, that it’s possible for me to sit and watch football for six hours to make sure my picks in the office pool were right, and yet somehow impossible to hold a conversation through a first date. It becomes a problem when your date gets post-poned because the game had a rain delay… Money on my mind is an understatement.
4. Let’s Talk Mooching. It happens from all angles, the person you’re dating, your friends AND their boyfriends… It stretches out so far you’d need a diagram. My co-blogger has luckily dated a couple men that have easy access to Leafs tickets (betch knows how to pick up). My very late apologies to both of these men for having been asked for Leafs tickets before even providing an introduction… and for third wheeling on dates at hockey games. #anythingforhockey, am I right?
5. Player Crushes #nohomo. I guess guys don’t love when you get more excited about your favourite player (what’s up Kadri) than you do about seeing them. It’s just a natural reaction – their name comes up and my whole face seems to light up. This happens A LOT, which is weird because otherwise I struggle to show any emotion at all. This might be something that can never be explained, similar to why man-to-man butt slapping is only ok after a touchdown.
6. The Mid Hook-Up, Just Let Me Catch that Highlight. The most recent awful encounter I had. Here we are hooking up on the couch, everything is going great. Until the Jays highlights come up and boom focus lost. Can’t we just hit the pause button for a sec? The real response was “WTF… are you serious?” Which was returned with laughter, not remorse. So maybe next time more chill and less MLB?