In Defense Of Being Nice
The world is made of all kinds of people with all kinds of personality quirks that may cause friction with others. Some people say off-color things or swear in inappropriate company. Others might be abrasively honest and some might have an interesting natural “fragrance” that makes bystanders feel uncomfortable.
Of all of the things that could give someone the wrong impression or instantly make him or her look past what you really have to offer as a person, I’ve come to find that one of my biggest defects isn’t exactly what you’d instantly classify as a flaw. But boy, does it cause some me some heartache.
In everyday life, I find my biggest obstacle to be that I’m nice.
I love people, I love being kind to people and I always try to see the best in those around me. I am not interested in being judgmental nor am I interested in the popular maneuver of belittling others to make myself feel awesome.
I know what you might be thinking: “What? Shenanigans!” you say. “What kind of person doesn’t like a nice person?”
Well, that’s because you are a normal, decent human. It’s lovely to meet you.
Unfortunately, all of our fellow humans are not necessarily as level headed as you and I. Fortunately, and I’ve come to the conclusion that if you have a problem with my niceness, it’s your own damn problem. And I will no longer make it mine.
My niceness does not make me dumb. It does not make me naïve, it does not make me simple-minded and it certainly does not make me your doormat. It is not a cry for acceptance and, above all, it is certainly not a sign of weakness. It is the best way to live one’s life and it is the one thing about myself that I will absolutely never change. And I suggest the rest of you nice folks resolve to do the same.
Why, you ask (or even if you didn’t)? Because the world needs you.
The world needs you more than it needs politicians who pretend to be useful or smarmy types who are at heart quite superficial and interchangeable. It needs you more than it needs sports heroes to idolize or Kardashians to serve as distractions. You, nice friend, are our only hope.
The optimistic, the happy, the hopeful and the helpful are the soul of this dear planet and all too often that soul takes a beating from those who are less characteristically sound.
And I think enough is enough.
The general assholes of the world will just have to deal with the fact that I will smile at them and ask them about their day when we meet. Grumpy strangers I encounter will have to excuse the fact that I may speak to you fondly like I’ve know them since birth. The slick, more pretentious residents of my city will just have to cope with that fact that the logo on their keychain, the label on their oppressive-for-such-a-warm-climate jacket and the accompanying attitude of superiority will not sway my mood or make feel like I’m less worthwhile.
My optimism is not an excuse for you to pigeonhole me as unintelligent and my charity is not your cue to take me for all I’m worth. The same strong sense of self that allows me to be so cheery is the same strong sense that allows me to let you know in the most succinct fashion when you decide you’ll test my constitution.
So carry on, my fellow golden-hearted friends. Just know it’s completely ok to unleash your inner enforcer when the time comes, as long as you don’t let it consume you and you return to your normal, world-changing self. Because once the wicked change your heart, they win. And that, my friends, just isn’t an option.