If you love a girl, stare into her eyes across the table while she eats her breakfast. When she asks why, tell her “why not?” Those words will echo in her mind like a flour cloud settling on the countertop. She’s listening and she will likely put your cryptic and awkward words together before you ever could. Don’t wait to tell her until it’s too late.
If you love a girl, walk her down the sidewalk at night. Together, watch the streetlights turn from red to green, and then to yellow. Listen to every word she says or doesn’t say. She’s likely just as nervous as you are, wondering if anything is changing and is trying to leave a better impression than she did in the past. Watch her face for a smile, hug her goodbye, hold her heart close.
If you love a girl and make music, tell her the song is about her even if it is painful. Love has a tendency to fill any crack that leaves residue of the past hanging around like morning mist on the grass. Ask her if she would like to write a song with you, the invitation would mean more than hoping you got the words right in the song that was about her.
If you love a girl and bake, make pastries and bread with her. Knead the dough in a knot together through your fingertips. Teach her how to wait and watch the dough rise while whispering in conversation on the kitchen floor together at night.
If you love a girl and run, make sure she’s running somewhere, too; preferably next to you. If she’s slower at running, learn to wait at the finish line so you can cheer her on like her biggest fan would. If she makes you hurt as you try to keep up, call after her and ask her to wait for you at the finish line so she can cheer you on, too. Reach each other with the sole’s of your shoes on pavement because the journey toward learning to love together is worth it.
If you love a girl and read, request that she read your favorite book and ask her about hers. You will learn lightyears more about her if you ask her why it’s her favorite book, read it, and then listen.
If you love a girl, lead. Ask her for her number, message her, show up beside her, ask her on an official date instead of assuming that paying for the meal says what you want it to say. Even if you stumble through your words, keep trying until you get them right because the right girl will be patient with you.
If you love a girl and she’s opposite of what you imagined, appreciate her for all her forms and the way she compliments you. There is no perfect girl, but there is a perfect girl for you and she will be the one you want to come home to. She will be the one you want to share all your failures and triumphs with and she will be the one that might not make sense, but she will in your mind and everyone else’s, too. It will click naturally. Things might get hard and frustrating, but you’ll know because life will be better just because she is somewhere in it.
If you love a girl and want to win her back, try. Begin again even if it is months and years later. If you really love her or ever loved her, it will mean something – still.
If you love a girl and you’re awkward, allow the uncomfortable feeling to guide you. If you feel something weird, it means there’s something there. If something is there, you should let it be and do something until awkward falls away and turns strangers into friends again.
If you love a girl and have mutual friends, ask how she is doing, but know that if you ask, she likely knows it, because she’s probably asking, too.
If you love a girl and she shattered the bridge, try building it slowly again after years of silence. She might come around, but she needs to know you’re there, she needs to know you care, too.
But if you love a girl so much it always hurts, have the strength and courage to let her go.
After all, the bravest gift of love you can possibly give is in the letting go.