Letting go is more than just new routines and changed hairdos. It’s more than just refreshing quotes and relief of unhealthy people. It’s more than relearning a planned future now planned solo. Letting go is easy one day and hard the next.
What I’ve learned about letting go is it is not a straight line. It is curved, jagged, and swirly. One day you are fine, existing in a world of possibility and positivity. Everything is fine and you can easily come to terms with the fact that it didn’t work out the way you thought it would. It’s sad, but there is peace in knowing you two are probably just meant to grow apart.
Then the next day you wake up sad because you know you aren’t waking up to spend it with someone else. You know everything has changed, and it’s unclear whether it was for better or for worse. You no longer have a companion or friend that you confided in. You lost someone you cared for and loved and still do. You have to let go of all the memories and secrets.
Some days you think it will be okay. You can continue on and know that it is for the best and that there is a reason all of this is happening. You can continue believing and hoping that better things are coming.
And then other days are absolute hell. The days when you can barely get out of bed because of sad feelings. When your eyes are so puffy because you’ve been crying for hours, just to wake up and cry some more. When it feels like someone is ripping your heart out of your chest and stomping all over it. Everything you had, the person who was supposed to be there for you, is no longer part of your everyday life.
Both good and bad days are like playing with fire. You will eventually get burned. Good and bad days look a lot like flipped switches. Mood swings happen so fast because it doesn’t take much remembering to turn into a sad, sloppy mess. Letting go entails being sad, vulnerable, and uncomfortable to the point that you wish you could take it all back, even if you weren’t happy.
Letting go is not a straight line. It is so full of ups and downs and rock bottoms and mountain peaks that there is no other option but for things to get better. You have no choice but to believe that there are a million amazing things waiting for you on the other side of being sad.