Why Being Jealous Of My Boyfriend Was The Best Thing To Ever Happen To Me

image - Flickr / lauren rushing
image – Flickr / lauren rushing

I’ve wanted to write something about my boyfriend for the longest time, but have a hard time figuring out just exactly how to write it. No one wants to hear about the ins and outs of our relationship, and quite frankly, I have no desire to tell anyone. It’s why our relationship is ours, and why it remains so special. I will tell you this though, I met my boyfriend at the perfect time in my life, and only at the perfect time in my life. When two people meet at a place where neither was supposed to be, that’s pretty magical, don’t you think? That’s all I will say about that.

This article isn’t about my relationship, it’s not about the feelings I have for my boyfriend, but solely what one person does for another person. This article could easily be written from one girlfriend to another, or one bro to another, or any other combination of two people in the world, but I’ve never had a relationship with another person like this. That’s why I’m writing about it.

There are a lot of things that my boyfriend has done for me, that he has no idea about. Not even the slightest inclination. And I believe it’s the best part. I don’t need to beat him over the head with it, but he knows me well enough at this point to see a difference in the way I carry myself, the way I approach meaningless tasks, the way I order french fries. He knows it’s him.

Without my permission, without any warning, this man has made me want to be a person I didn’t think I could be.

My boyfriend’s sense of adventure is one of things I admire most about him. He spent two summers in Alaska, working at a fish mart and convenience store, just for the hell of it. He enlisted in the Air Force, and has been to and driven through various states by himself, occasionally just on a quest for good barbecue and pizza (think How I Met Your Mother, Gazzola’s Pizza). What a weird sense of adventure this kid has, but how inspiring. As he was telling me these stories when we were first getting to know each other, I remember feeling almost jealous, which is an emotion I usually have reserved for other girls. Why was I jealous? The only thing this kid was doing was living. And it made me think, what the hell was I doing? He still had responsibilities, like car payments, tax forms, paying rent, a social life, and dealing with his ever so switchy military schedule. How could he do both?

And what was I doing? Balancing three part time jobs, a summer internship and twenty-one credits of class? I could be just as adventurous as him. If I really wanted to, what would stop me from renting a zipcar and driving to Canada for fresh maple syrup right now––aside from the fact that I don’t have a passport. There is no reason why I can’t be that person. And why I thought that there was up until ten months ago, I’m really not sure.

With a carefree attitude, and a smile that could kill anybody in it’s path, this man has managed to break non-adventurous, non-spontaneous Ashley out of her shell, and pushed her to navigate the New York City bus system by herself. He has also managed to graciously share his Netflix password with her, and allow her to watch all the TV shows she never got to because of homework and club meetings. He’s brought her to rural Connecticut where Keith Richard’s house is just down the block, and the cows and horses are a mere fifteen minutes away. Stupid stuff I thought I didn’t have time for. Stupid stuff thats so wonderfully amazing.

In no way, shape or form am I ready to drive cross country for In-N-Out burger, but I’m working my way up to that by trying elk meat at Bareburger (which is delicious). It’s small, but it’s a start. These things probably seem trivial to everyone else, my boyfriend included, but they wouldn’t have been done or thought about without him. It’s not a matter of making myself more adventurous or spontaneous to please him. He could care less and so could I. I still order eggplant rollitini no matter what Italian restaurant we go to, and he always pokes fun. But it’s finally meeting another person who makes me want to not only be a better person, but someone who wants you to try new things. Someone who admires that you haven’t done everything, but pushes you to get out there, and live a little. Someone who admires you for the wonderful and stupid things you do while you’re out there. Someone who up until you met them, lived their life completely and beautifully different than you. Someone who makes you want to be a person you didn’t think you could be. And in my case, someone I’m lucky to call my boyfriend. TC mark

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