Dear Future Husband, I Wonder What You’re Doing When I’m In Bed At Night Thinking About You

Dear Future Husband,

Before I really start, I’m well aware that I am only 20 years old, and that I may not meet you anytime soon. I’m not quite sure when I would even want to meet you, but then again, I don’t have any choice in the matter do I? I’m writing this letter to you after my first real heartbreak, even though there wasn’t a relationship to go along with it. Maybe you already know the story, maybe you don’t. I guess I’ll be surprised when you get here. I’m not going to waste time telling you the basics of myself, because eventually you’ll come to know me.

This letter is for a different reason. It’s to tell how much I can’t wait to meet you, and that everyday I wonder where you are, and what you’re doing. Maybe it’s because I’ve been watching too much How I Met Your Mother, but still. I wonder what you’re doing when I’m laying in bed at night thinking about the future. Sometimes I wish my life were a movie, and that there could be a split screen, just so I could check in and see what you’re up to. Do you have a girlfriend right now or are you single like me? Well I hate to break it you, but if you do have a girlfriend, you’re not going to marry her because well, you’re going to marry me.

Sometimes I wonder if we are connected by some force stronger than us. I wonder if when I’m sad, you feel a little off, or if when you’re having a great day wherever you are, if those are one of the days I am in a good mood for no particular reason. I think that this theory is more of an idea, rather than a truth, but it’s a little silly to me. I’m pretty confident that right now, you’re not thinking of me, and you could be doing a multitude of things, for example, sleeping, studying for a test (if you’re still in college that is), having dinner with your parents, or you could currently be in transit. Its 8:11 PM by me, but who knows what time it is by you.

I’m glad that I won’t know where or when I will meet you, if I haven’t met you yet. I really don’t think that I have, but who knows? I wonder if we were ever at the same place at the same time, if you were ever in the background of any of my pictures. It would be pretty cool if we had crossed paths already somehow without even realizing it. Maybe we were shopping in the same store, maybe you were at that hockey game a few years back, or maybe one time we connected eyes while driving on the parkway. It’s something interesting to think about, that you’re just out there, and neither of us have any idea who the other is.

But this, I can promise you. Don’t feel pressured by this letter. Like I said, I don’t know when I would want to meet you. I don’t know if I’m ready to meet the love of my life yet, I’m still young and perhaps there are many broken hearts and unfortunate dates in my future. And who knows if you’ve even thought of marriage in any shape, way or form yet. What I do know is that someday I will meet you, and I will love you absolutely with every single thing I have inside of me.

You won’t regret falling in love with me, even if I do have lists of my favorite words, or if I get over emotional at Christmas songs, or because I have a guilty pleasure for watching Spongebob. I know for a fact that you’ll love these things about me, and that they’ll only make you love me more than you thought possible. I know that when I wake up in the morning with unkempt curls and black under my eyes from the makeup I was too lazy to take off, you’ll still think I’m beautiful. I know that you’ll make every holiday, birthday and anniversary extremely special, and you’ll remember those dates 98% of the time. I’m positive that when I do something you find cute, adorable or sexy, you’ll be sure to let me know, and that you’ll love the smile that appears on my face when you tell me. I know that you’ll ask my parents for my hand before you even think about popping the question, and when you ask me to marry you, it’ll be one of the best moments of your life.

And I can promise you the same things. I will appreciate and admire every quirk about you, and it will only make me love you more, whether it’s the way you fasten your towel around your waist after a shower, or how your fork changes hands when you’re cutting steak. I will give every single part of myself to you to have, because I trust that you won’t ever be able to hurt me. When you are sad, having a bad day, or are angry, I will do everything in my power to make you smile, because I am sure it was one of the first things I noticed about you. Every gift I give will you accompany something from my heart, whether its a drawing, a song, a poem, or a paper card. Never expect just a watch, or just a toolkit, or just Ranger’s season tickets from me. I will let down every single wall when I know you’re in this for the long haul, and while I’ll be scared out of my mind, it’ll be the easiest thing I’ll ever have to do.

I hope that you’ll let me tell you all the things I love about you, every single day, and never get sick of hearing it. You can expect the unexpected with me, and for me to be spontaneous when we are together, however at the same time understanding that I like things to be planned ahead of time. You’ll realize that I’m not like other girls, that I hate to shop, and that I think spending money on expensive clothes is about as important as today’s obsession with Miley Cyrus. You’ll learn to love my witty comebacks, and know that when I say “You’re such an idiot” it means that I’m so fucking in love with you, I can’t even describe it. I hope that you know I will ask for babies as soon as I’m ready, and won’t hesitate on telling you that, or anything for that matter. That I’ll enjoy trying for them with you morning, noon and night, and that I’ll do every single thing I possibly can to be the best mother I can be. I’ll take millions of pictures of you with our kids, and post them on every social media channel I possibly can because I want everyone to know how amazingly lucky I am, without putting that as a caption.

I hope to show this to you one day, maybe the night we get engaged, maybe the night before we get married or maybe the moment I’m sure that you’re it for me. But I don’t know if I ever will, maybe I’ll keep this letter to myself and read it every single time I get my heartbroken, or every time that I feel like you’re not out there, even though I know you are.

But anyway, I can’t wait to meet you someday, and I know you’ll be worth the wait.

Love,
Your Future Wife Thought Catalog Logo Mark

image – Flickr / anieto2k

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