8 Crucial Things To Look For In A Partner


It seems I can’t escape the topic of relationships and marriage these days. It’s been an increasingly popular subject more so since I have been pregnant. Most of the time the conversation has nothing to do with me and my personal relationship but yet about the one who brought up the conversation in the first place. No matter how the topic was broached it always seems to end with the inevitable… So what about you, Camille? Do I hear wedding bells in the near future?

Before I go any further I must mention that I’ve always been the girl who openly and proudly has had a soft spot in my heart for true love and having babies of my own. I won’t call myself a hopeless romantic because that just sounds cheesy but to make things easy I guess that’s what you can call me. Oh, plus I just don’t like the term “hopeless” because it sounds too much like helpless. I much rather be a hopeful romantic!

Anyway, with all this talk about marriage and relationships it had me questioning things like:

  • my past relationships
  • how do I show love
  • how do I accept love
  • do I truly love myself
  • do I know how to love another
  • …and so on

So while I won’t get into the nitty-gritty details of all of those factors in this post–I will however share what I’ve come to find out are my core deliverables that need to be met in order for my union to be promising. Essentially, these are my 8 deal breakers (cue dramatic music.) Obviously, there are other qualities I may desire but I’d be willing to compromise on if these 8 factors are being met. So here goes! Please note: these are in no particular order of importance

1. Physical Attraction

Simply, am I physically attracted to him?

2. Soul Connection

Do we both share an indescribable spiritual connection? Not to be confused with a religious connection. Rather do we resonate energetically? Do we have such a strong soul connection that we can sense when the other is in danger when they are nowhere near us? Do we both pick up on signs or sense what the other needs without having to always verbalize it?

3. Acceptance and Understanding

No matter our differences is this someone who can on a soul-level still accept and understand me? He doesn’t need to agree with me but does he understand me. Is he able to accept the core building blocks of what makes me the person I am?

4. Attentive

Does he really notice me? Does he know the real me or attempt to peel the layers back to discover the real me? Can I confide in him and know without a doubt he is giving me his undivided attention? Remember: attentive, not to be confused with smothering or obsessive

5. Protective

Does he protect me emotionally and physically? Does he assist me with heavy items or dangerous tasks? Is he aware of our surroundings and on the lookout for alarming situations? Does he provide comfort to me in a situation that was emotionally straining for me? Finally, is he protecting himself and staying out of trouble? …because if he’s living a reckless risky lifestyle then he might as well be putting me in danger too.

6. Loving

Does he show me love in a multitude of ways? Whether it be professing his love publicly. Or if he shows love through acts of service such as rotating my car tires or fixing a loose floorboard (again, protective!). Does he surprise me with a little sweet gift I had briefly mentioned (attentive)? Overall does his actions make me feel loved?

7. Honest and Trustworthy

Will he be open and honest with pertinent information even if it’s uncomfortable or hurtful? Is he overall quite honest in his interactions with others? From personal experience, if we have a soul-connection then we ought to have trust & honesty in the relationship because if not then I will sense that something energetically does not feel right. So better to be honest and forthcoming so we can work as a partnership to overcome situations together.

8. Grounded

Is he pretty well-balanced and stable in his everyday life? Does he have a good work-play balance? Does he maintain balance between reality and spirituality? Is he financially responsible? Is he mentally stable? Is he sensible?

So there you have it! My deal breakers! In my opinion they really all go hand in hand together. What are your thoughts? Do you have a different set of deal breakers that you’d like to share? If you haven’t already, I highly recommend sitting down and writing the qualities that you cannot negotiate on whether it applies to platonic friendships or romantic relationships. Then as a fun little experiment, go down your list one by one and ask yourself whether a past or current romantic partner has met or is meeting your requirements. You can do this for platonic friendships too. Give it a try you might find the results to be very eye-opening. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

More From Thought Catalog