When Relationships Aren’t Working, Should A Girl Hoe For A While?

Rather than dating with the strict intent of finding your forever someone, how about letting the hella hot guy—who’s a million miles from being marriage material—satisfy your current desire for fun and attention?

Hit pause on “operation find prince charming” and hoe around a bit. Mmm ok, maybe I don’t mean exactly that—the word hoe is a shameless ploy to get your attention. Thus, don’t think that I support you going around letting just any pencil into your sharpener. I am simply proposing that you don’t let the dating monster control or walk all over you… instead, make it your bitch. Take a temporary time out from what we all have been preconditioned to think a responsible, put together, single human is supposed to look like and instead let your freak flag wave wildly and go GET YOU SOME fun.

Most singles don’t even realize when society’s opinions on dating are warping their psyche. Preconceived notions of how an unmarried, 20 or 30-something-year-old woman should behave are especially irritating. They’re supposed to abide by unspoken dating rules like: don’t have sex until the third date… don’t sleep with him until an exclusivity agreement has been negotiated… you should act shocked and appalled if he makes a dirty joke too soon… blah boring blah.

The point is, when it comes to people who don’t give two shits about monogamy, the aftereffects should be the same for both males and females.

What if a well-educated, catch-of-a-girl finds herself single, and aching for human touch—in whatever way—whether it be a foreplay super sesh, straight penetration, or simply playing lil’ spoon to his big spoon? Must this girl have an internal emotional battle with herself on where the line lies between classy and trashy?

Is this fair?

Women are commonly tagged as the “commitment wanters,” which suckily makes them less powerful and/or seem needy. With that said, why isn’t the term “fuckgirl” as popularly widespread as “fuckboy”? When’s the last time you saw a fuckgirl meme on Instagram? Why do men get to sleep around and the word hoe never leaves anyone’s lips, yet when a woman does it—BAM!—the double-standard dragon busts through the door and yells “hoe put your damn chastity belt back on!”.

For all the single ladies out there who overthink and overload their poor brains with worrisome thoughts about what others deem acceptable behavior (like “well shit will people think I’m slutty if my roster has over 11 dudes on it before I’m married?), remember that equal rights are human rights. Guys don’t lose any sleep when their roster hits the double digits, and you shouldn’t either.

It is with a heart full of hormones, millennialism, zero fucks, and a dash of bitterness paired with a smidgen of feminism that I leave you with this:

Don’t let societal norms dictate your dating life.

As long as your actions reflect YOU in your secure womanhood, let FUNdom ring.

*ding fucking dong*