My love for you is both incredibly simple and complex at the same time.
I wish I could explain why I woke up to a light that burnt out unexpectedly, to a numbness from my past that I didn’t think could return.
He left me with the belief that I was defective, that in some way I was broken because my father didn’t love me.
Facing trauma is hard, but what’s even harder is admitting to the world that you weren’t always a good person and that your actions resulted in someone else’s suffering.
Most of all, I want to say thank you.
I hope you’ll forgive me.
Letting go meant admitting you weren’t the man I thought you were. Letting go meant I had given myself to someone who didn’t deserve me. It took me way too long to leave, but I did. It was one of the hardest but best things I ever did.
You have to let someone take care of you sometimes.
You are the kind of guy who would listen to me rant for hours and when I apologized, told me, “You don’t need to apologize. If you need someone to talk to, I’m happy to be that person.”
You are still compassionate, strong, and empathetic. You will always be the kind of person who cares, the kind of person who chooses their words carefully and who asks how others are feeling, wanting real answers, because you know the difference it makes.