smiling woman standing near the building

Before You Start Dating, Take A Chance On Yourself

Young adults and teens have difficulty distinguishing between love and infatuation. Consequently, teens believe they are in love faster than they realize the person they are looking at is someone they don’t know. As such, teens often jump into relationships that end after just a few months.

As a first principle, infatuation is an intense sensation, a fantasy, the feeling of a strong connection to someone without the deeper level of connection that comes with learning about them personally. Furthermore, infatuation is often characterized by a fast-paced admiration without the depth of love.

Due to not having experienced being in love, I cannot completely express love based on my own experiences. Studying long-term couples and conducting deep research into what love is can be an important way to observe it. An individual is in love when he or she has a strong sense of affection, concern, and sensation towards another. In love, one does not expect a perfect relationship; the couple gets to know each other personally, accepts one another’s flaws, and knows each other for a long time before entering an intimate relationship.

Teenagers usually do not discover their hopes, goals, ambitions, or dreams until later in life. Rather, they are interested in other things, such as finding a date, partying, binge-watching TV shows, staying in their comfort zones, trying to fit in because they are bored, feeling insecure about feeling alone, or finding themselves.

Adults and teenagers who are in tune with what they want in life can date with sincerity and understanding. For others, dating is a matter of fun, peer pressure, or simply wanting to not be alone, among other reasons.

People are often unable to grasp why they feel the way they do because they simply “fall in love” without considering the actual reasons behind why they feel the way they do. While romantically involved, they can move quickly and fall for someone else. It is common to see people performing this action in films and real life. My interpretation is that some people feel the need to consistently be in a relationship because they are unsure of who they are or what they want in life. They need to be in a relationship to help them love themselves.

Since I am a future-oriented person, I’ve never been in a close relationship with another person because I felt no need to be in one. As someone who has lived in multiple foster homes and was adopted twice, I have learned that people come and go. During the few months I lived with a foster family, I grew attached to them, as I was a naive little girl who was told they would adopt me, only to pack my black trash bag the next day and leave in my caseworker’s car, never to see them again.

That was a time in my life when I established how and why I became prone to Reactive attachment disorder (RAD). Children with RAD struggle to form healthy, stable, and emotional bonds when they are infants or young children — having RAD results in problems bonding and maintaining stable connections.

RAD helped me to develop a future-oriented perspective and less of a relationship-focused one. Rather than letting my past experiences define me, I used a combination of my passion for protecting individual rights and my experiences to reach my potential.

Your work and achievements will always be with and a part of you.

Over the years, I have become so absorbed in my goals, ambitions, and big dreams to become a motivational speaker and politician representing the desires of people that I sometimes disregard my love life. Those in the same boat can congregate that way because they feel no rush to meet someone. My only request is that those reading this carefully consider what is in their best interest, their future, their dreams. Wait for the right moment and don’t jeopardize everything you worked hard for just for someone who will leave in the next few months.

Dating and being in a relationship are not needed by everyone. The act of dating is two people going out to start up an intimate friendship, marriage, or other relationship. Adolescents often experience a period in their life when dating is an important topic of interest.

Having taken into account everything you read, I urge many teens and young adults to find themselves and develop self-love before getting involved with dating. Then you will have successful relationships filled with respect, trust, ambition, fulfillment, and support for your partner’s dreams, since you will date with an open, transparent, strong, prepared, and knowledgeable mindset.

About the author
An aspiring politician, writer, advocate, and enjoys public speaking. Follow Ashleigh on Instagram or read more articles from Ashleigh on Thought Catalog.

Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.

Related