Being alone feels even more empty when you’ve experienced what it’s like to be completely filled with joy. My world feels empty, like I’m standing in a burnt down field where no flower lies for miles and I am alone with no sense of direction. As I forget what it feels like to be held by you I further lose my sense of reality and I hope this is all a dream.
I never thought about what would happen if you left because I truthfully never thought I’d see the day. I wish this were still true. I wish that I was still waking up to the strong smell of cologne and your quiet snore. I wish you were still here to make me laugh when I needed it most and I wish you were here to make this apartment feel less lonely.
I wish you were here to hold me so I could enjoy the man that changed my life forever one last time.
It’s crazy to think that a heart could feel so empty and fragile. Even the excited and giddy girl in me feels like she no longer belongs in this world. She feels alienated and abandoned. She feels alone and admits that this world is a lot scarier than she remembers.
Your love was necessary and it was the reason I woke up so many days happy and grateful. I feel suffocated and lost without you here to help me navigate everyday life.
You were such a big part of who I was that I feel like the world I live in today has no endless skies and shooting stars, only an abyss of black void and long roads of heartache.
I miss you and now I have to learn to live without you forever and right now, I don’t know how that would even be possible.