It felt like I was watching a movie. You were a character in which I found myself infatuated with. Watching you fall for another girl only made me wish I was her even more. I imagined what it would be like to wake up in your arms, to have you kiss my bare shoulder, what it would be like to know that you loved me back, but the truth was that all of these fantasies and dreams would only make the reality even more painful.
You were in love and although it made me happy to see you happy, my heart begged to know what your arms would feel like around me.
You were beautiful in every sense. You were the slow melodies of all my favorite songs compiled together, every poem I’ve ever read over and over again with infatuation, you were all my favorite memories walking around in a 6-foot body with someone else around your arm and fuck, that was painful.
Seeing how you could love someone only made me more sure that I was way too deep into this to walk away unscathed, with my heart in one piece, unbothered by the sight of you kissing her, opening her door, loving her in the way I wish you loved me.
Stopping yourself from falling for someone more and more is easier said than done. I tried to tell myself that all of this pain would be never-ending. I tried to warn myself that no matter how much it hurt, nothing I could do would change the outcome, but even that couldn’t stop my heart which had made up its mind about you.
Loving you has proven to be painful and pointless, yet your blue eyes still make my heart jump out of my chest.