Losing You Helped Me Figure Out Who I Want To Be

Losing You Helped Me Figure Out Who I Want To Be

Losing you was one of the most painful things I think I’ll ever endure. I had never felt so alone before. I never knew that loving you could feel so horrible.

I remember feeling lost as to who I was, what I was doing, and where I went from that moment on. It took nights and days and crying and screaming to realize that the person I was with you was never me. I was someone who bent over and gave up who I was to please you and even then, I was still never good enough.

I had molded myself to all your needs and I was so worried about what you wanted that I never even realized that I had lost who I was and I think, maybe, that’s why I felt like the world had consumed and spit me up when you left because I was empty.

All of my future plans and hopes and dreams revolved around you, the man who had broken my heart and never looked back, and I resented myself for allowing you to do that. Now, I’ve learned that you no longer matter to me. You’re nothing more than a lesson I hope my daughter will learn from me. You’re nothing more than a small bump in the road for me.

It took you breaking my heart and making me feel incredible pain to realize that I needed to find and figure out who I was and realize that the pain you made me feel was only temporary, but who I was would determine my entire life.

It took me feeling the loneliest I had ever felt in a world filled with people to realize that I would never feel content unless I took the time to find myself. All I can say now is that I’m thankful and if I ran into you tomorrow, I would thank you for opening my eyes and helping me realize that I wasn’t a person with ideas and thoughts. I was a person who lived to please the one she loved and fuck being that girl because she will never be happy.

Thank you for breaking my heart because at least now I know who I am. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author


Follow Ashlee on Instagram or read more articles from Ashlee on Thought Catalog. Learn more about Thought Catalog and our writers on our about page.