The thing about working on a relationship is that there is no guarantee that who you’ll be in the end is who you are. It’s easy to give away pieces of yourself for people, for love. It’s easy and then you wake up one day and look in a mirror and don’t recognize the person looking back.
That was the biggest lesson I learned from the whole experience and it was a hard one. I learned that the more I tried to please him and the more I tried to make the relationship work, the further I drifted from who I was and at that point, him and I were doomed.
I loved him with all my heart, but we had different needs and trying to fix what we had was like trying to shove a square in a circle sized hole. There was nothing we could do to make it fit perfectly.
I started to lower my standards and my needs and, although I loved him, it wasn’t worth it. I don’t blame him, either. It wasn’t his fault.
He had certain needs and instead of admitting that I could never satisfy them, I tried to conform and make it work.
Along with lowering my standards and changing the things I needed from him, I was changing all these things that I loved about myself and I never even realized it. I started to be on my phone more, texting him when I was proud of myself for not being that person who’s on their phone while you’re trying to have a conversation with them and that’s just one example.
The thing about loving someone, is that it’s blinding but if your’e losing sight of your goals and losing who you have worked so hard to be, then it isn’t love, its a distraction. Finding love is someone who embraces you and your flaws and makes you feel good for being you. Also, someone who makes you want to be successful and ambitious.
Never settle and never change.