You Were Never Mine To Love

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Lili Kovac / Unsplash

You were never mine, but, oh, how I wish you had been.

I knew, deep down, that nothing would ever happen, but I let myself get lost in you as if you mine to get lost in. I watched you carefully, observing the way you live your life, the way you laugh at everything, the way you care for others and I lost myself in your kindness.

When I looked into your eyes I saw meaning and life and you were exactly what my life lacked, what my life needed. You made me happy and you made me laugh when I was down and there was nothing that could have kept me from falling in love with you.

Your blue eyes did things to my body that I had never experienced. When we made eye contact, my heart skipped beats, when you laughed my body warmed, you gave me something to look forward to and I did everything I told myself not to do.

I fell in love with you. I completely fell in an uncontrollable spiral into your arms and I knew that it wouldnโ€™t end well.

Thatโ€™s the thing about falling in love with someone you know wonโ€™t love you back. You choose to fall anyways even though you know youโ€™ll end up hurt. Even though you were never mine to have and to hold, loving you was worth any pain I could ever feel.

Falling in love with you was worth all the torture of having you so close, but so far away.

I loved you because you were genuine and kind-hearted and I adored that more than anything. Loving you hurt in the most beautiful way.

Now, looking into your eyes hurts because it reminds me of everything I never had. It reminds me of my need to have your love and feeling so close to it even though I was miles away from it. TC mark

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