I’m Not Over You, But I Hope You’re Happy

I miss you and it’s hard because I’m craving the taste of eternity you fed me. I’m craving the security of forever. It tasted sweet and now my body shakes at night because you’re gone and my shot at forever with you is further than ever before.

I have withdrawals at night when I smell the faintest hint of your cologne still lingering around my room like my guardian angel, or ghosts haunting me. The worst part is, that I know in my mind that we can never be restored to our old selves and who we were together, but my heart yearns for you with no regards for the facts. The fact that you’re gone and you’ll never be more than a memory I love to remember.

I started eating S’mores Pop Tarts because you used to eat them every day before work and in some way, it makes me feel closer to you even though I have no idea where you are tonight. I started leaving a key under the doormat in case you ever take the path that leads you back to my doorstep.

It’s unfortunate that you’re no longer the best thing in my life. You’re just 382 photos on my phone that I can’t get myself to delete.

I love you and I don’t see a day in the near future when the love I have for you will dissipate, but trust me when I say that I know I need to move on.

I wake up every day and hope that I no longer know the definition of what it is to move on, but then I remember that it’s what’s best for me.

All I ask is that you don’t look back on our relationship any differently because I know that you loved me with everything you had. You were just looking for something that you didn’t find in me. Something that may or may not exist.

I respect your decision and I miss your touch so fucking much and I want you to know that I hope you find fulfillment in your life and that you never experience what it is to have a gaping heart.

You hurt me, but as long as you’re happy I can justify the pain I feel and remind myself that I will be okay.