The older I get, the more serious my relationship becomes, I start to worry about what marriage is like. Why do I find it so intimidating and scary?
I am in love and I want marriage, but marriage oftentimes seems so frightening. It’s said to be difficult and uneasy at times and not every couple has what it takes to surpass hard times. How do I know if my significant other and I have it? I would be completely destroyed if we broke up while dating, I can’t even imagine what getting divorced is like.
Then again, I remind myself I cannot live in fear. Marriage is supposed to be this magical thing that bounds love between two people forever and I want that. I’m just terrified of the hard times.
This is not to say we have not gone through painful and difficult situation and times. One of the biggest parts of making a relationships work is trial and error: hurting the person you love and learning from the pain you’ve caused, but with marriage, there is so much more to lose and if you have kids together, even more.
That’s what intimidates me most. I understand that every married couple doesn’t make it to forever, but I want to be that couple that does. I want to be that someone who loves the same person they vowed to stick by for the rest of their life forever.
I do not doubt that my boyfriend and I could get married and be happy, but things change and people change and as much as I love him today, he could be someone I don’t even recognize tomorrow and that is reality.
I just hope that we have what it takes to last forever because his arms are my heaven on earth and his voice is my home and without him I would be absolutely nothing but the clothes on my back and the tears on my face.