It’s easy to say no to love.
It’s easy to keep a guard up, to push people away when they start to get close and to stay in on the couch with the blinds pulled and the television on. It’s easy to flip through Tinder and have short, meaningless conversations with a variety of people until they inevitably say something “wrong” and we disappear into the ether. It’s easy to find a date, have a few drinks and maybe go home together… and it’s easy to reevaluate the next day, thinking that it was a mistake, that because their career isn’t on track or because they may have been nervous, they aren’t the right person for us.
It’s easy to remember the people who’ve hurt us, to regret our mistakes, and to keep telling ourselves stories of what we could’ve done differently. It’s easy to want to change people into something they aren’t. It’s easy to wish someone loved us the way we used to love them. It’s easy to stay angry, sad and tired.
It’s easy because it takes no effort.
We always think there’s something better waiting to be discovered, that the perfect person is out there and we will find him or her at exactly the right time.
We won’t because the perfect person never comes at the right time since the perfect person and the right time don’t exist.
We need to remember that for all people we’ve loved, even if we’ve lost them, it all started with letting them in.
We’ll never find who and what we’re looking for if we keep finding reasons not to take chances on something new.
In 2019, resolve to be open. Talk to strangers. Go on dates. Have conversations about the things that move you and what you’re looking forward to instead of the things that hold you back. Stop talking about the weather, your past and who hurt you.
See the good in people. Believe everyone is looking for something meaningful, real and honest. Deep down, most of them are. Beneath the light conversation and small talk, most people are hoping for a connection that won’t make them feel so alone.
Have heart, and don’t be afraid to ask people about the things they care about. Talk about art, about change, and about ambition. Talk about what gets you up in the morning and what you dream about at night.
Most importantly, have the courage to trust love one more time.
Love is a choice.
Love is two people deciding that right now is the perfect time. Love is two people knowing that even though someone out there might be a little bit taller or funnier or successful or attractive or with a little less baggage than their partner, they choose to be together, here and now.