Lately, I’ve been feeling so pressured and overwhelmed by society to “reach my goal” and become successful. We spend all of our teenage and 20′s worrying about our career, we forget that we have another 3/4 of a decade to worry about that. These are our prime years! We should be experiencing life, traveling the world, making wrong turns and laughing about them. Instead, we are all running around masking our confusion with faux titles and pretend successes. No one in their 20′s have it all together, so quit buggin’ out and RELAX! Here are 22 proofs that we are a bunch of deranged chickens with our heads cut off:
1. We delete our Facebook at least once a year to prove our non-existent addiction to social media heroin. We need to be ‘above’ the trend, right?
2. Which brings me to point two. We are self-denying, TOM’s wearing hipsters one week and professional business attire the next. We just can’t seem to make up our minds! (We’re too young to be hipsters, but too old for boring suits…who are we?!)
3. We swear THIS time he/she is THE one. We can feel it.
4. There’s an awkward transition from Forever 21 to Club Monaco.
5. We change our majors from business management to social justice because suddenly, it’s occurred to us that we just might be able to save the world. (Then we change it back for the money)
6. We are all photographers. Every single one of us has taken a photo of the sky or a close up of a flower and suddenly we are all “free lance photographers”
7. We say we quit drinking every day.
8. No more caramel frapps, we’re grown ups now. Black coffee all ze way!
9. We’re determined to have bombtastic credit by 30 so we open a credit card. What? I already spent $800?
10. Cashier at the local deli? It’s called “Financial supervisor in restaurant business” Thank you very much.
11. Google is god.
12. We’re like little leeches when it comes to networking. Everyone and anyone we meet will be use for our future careers.
13. It’s not stealing music if we advertise it on Facebook!
14. “Healthy” food is a crispy chicken salad with ranch from Wendy’s
15. We’re totally friends with the owner of that club, we can totally hook you up.
16. Our self-esteem somehow becomes dependent on how many “likes” and “retweets” we get. The more we have the awesomer we are?
17. We’ve all drunk texted. Don’t even deny it.
18. The government is a conspiracy!!!
19. Instagram it.
20. We attempt to go to art galleries and museums to better culture ourselves, but we just end up getting drunk on free champagne and claiming anyone can paint that (it is just a blue box on top of a red circle)
21. We’re all just running around trying to figure out what love really is.
22. And at the end of every day, we lay in bed asking ourselves this: who am I?